Nikki- All I can say is that I am watching you in awe. The way your H is acting and the way you are NOT getting sucked into it- well, it's amazing. Truly!
If my H and I were sleeping in the same bed and still married, I would have a helluva time not expecting him to act the part of H.
Hopefully someday I will have your detachment.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
Aw Trixi thanks. I'm sure I will be saying the same about you one day soon! It's soo easy to get sucked in, to have expectations...
Wish I could really fully "claim" detachment but not feeling it completely right now.. I'm glad I am projecting it though. That's usually happened shortly before I truly feel it.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
and I think 'husband' the DB'er will back me up on this) it was kind of awkward since only the two of us showed up. Cool in that it was great for visiting, but it was weird in that the waitress kept saying things like "So are you two OK?" (I haven't been "you two" with someone other than H in a very long time!!). I mean WE knew we weren't there on a date or having an A or something but I'm sure from outside appearances it was a bit different. I always wonder what people at nearby tables think if they hear DB'ers talking about OW, OM, "bomb day," etc. too. Doesn't matter THAT much but I'm sure it sounds pretty crazy from an outside perspective.
NikB,
Funny you should mention this... I too thought they kept asking us that allot. I also wondered about people around us hearing you say things about YOUR husband and me talking about MY wife. I bet we were the topic of some of the conversations in the place. (At least with the staff). Both waitresses kept giving inputs to our conversation so ya know they were listening. I didn't pay much attention to who else was there (except you know when) and that group in the blue jackets came in.
Originally Posted By: NikB
H did look through my pics a bit
Originally Posted By: NikB
(although now wishing we'd taken pics.. but we just thought it might look bad even though it wasn't).
Coulda/ Shouda /Woulda
BTDT
Anyway its 3:30 am and I need to get back to work. Talk to ya later
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
H - oh yeah, I'm sure there were some funny convos going on with the staff the minute we left. Would've been fun to be a fly on the wall.
jak - aw thank you. I just posted to you.. wish I could reach through the computer and smack your H to wake him up!!
PMA is taking a hit today due to waking up early this AM with the stomach flu. bleh. Made myself some Jello that's currently chilling in the fridge, hopefully I will be able to keep it down by the time it's cold. I think the only time I EVER eat Jello is when I'm sick and dehydrated, but somehow I still like it. It's a little thing but felt good to do that for myself too.
Easy to get vulnerable and feeling sorry for yourself (and wishing for more from your spouse) when you're sick. H was actually very sweet this AM - made sure I was warm enough, asked if I needed anything before he went to work, etc. Which was nice. I'm feeling glad that I didn't NEED that though - appreciated it, but didn't "need" it and wasn't even looking or hoping for it. If that makes any sense.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Sorry you are not feeling well. It's kind of cold outside anyway. Stay in bed and get some rest. I am making my mom a b-day cake for her 75th B-day. But I screwed up and used olive oil so I am now baking second cake now. W got a little annoyed that I used the wrong oil. I asked her and she did not answer me so I used it and then as I am stirring the mix she says "I wouldn't used olive oil" I told her too late... Oh well should not take it personally... spent a whole dollar on another box of cake mix ( I actualy bought two in case I screwed up agian)...\Take care and get better and rested up for the next meet. It looks like someone from Oregon wants to join...
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Comes out okay with light olive oil, but extra-virgin's too strong! (I know, i've tried, as I mostly use olive oil and tend to not have anything else on hand)
Comes out okay with light olive oil, but extra-virgin's too strong! (I know, i've tried, as I mostly use olive oil and tend to not have anything else on hand)
Ellie
Funny thing ellie, the second cake looks just like the first one. Imagine that..... I use olive oil in most of my cooking. Don’t worry now she is complaining about making lasagna for my son’s school. Next it will be my fault there is global warming. Even though it’ about 30 out side now…..
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
uuugh you guys are killing me!! Talk of olive oil cakes here, hot dogs on your thread H.
I'm teasing... feeling a bit better. Not great but not so bad. Never made it outside to confirm if it was cold.. stayed in my jammies all day, so H I will take your word for it!
Unfortunately also JUST finished working. Like my new job and thank goodness I can work from home (thus the jammies all day, no I didn't wear them to the office!). But man these hours are killing me. I think it'll ease up after this week. It's not so fun working in between running to the bathroom...
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
awe. I'm so sorry your sick. you musta caught something in Sonoma and being frozen with your top down sure wouldn't have helped. Glad that your H was very nice to you that morning though.
And it's so good to see you not searching for those things from him. And it truly shows your confidence level and that you are not "needy" anymore.
Trixi... yes you can be that detached. it just takes time, and forcing yourself until it happens. my H half the time slept in bed with me too. But I know that it was my faith in God that whatever happened He was in ultimate control and my life was going to just get better and better and that my sitch was a great process for learning, bettering myself, and trusting in Him.
oh Nikki. GET INTO THAT ROOM SILLY. and don't be scared. shoot, your not moving into a different house. your just moving down the hallway. I almost guarantee that your H is going to be around you even more when you finally do it. and you don't have to move all your clothes in there or anything. just stuff you use all the time. plus, it might be more fun to have your clothes in "his" room and you have to go in there to change. get some new sexy lingerie with ya when you do.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Glad that your H was very nice to you that morning though.