I just emailed one of the local attorneys in our area, through a private email address that I have and H can get to it (plus he's not smart enough to figure it out).. I know that was mean..
So we will see what they said, I don't want it to take this route, but have to be prepared if it does. what I do know is if I was to go forward, he would want me out and he would stay in the house.. have to ask the lawyer about that..
Thanks for the hugs.. i need them..
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
You could make it on your own if you can see what a wonderful talented women you are.
You take care of the house, the kids, your H, and his bussiness. You have the experience and talent to go out and find a job that you are already doing for your H. This may change things for you and the boys but children are resiliant and they might have less stress and so would you.
Just something for you to think about if it comes to that. Know that you have the talent and ability and that you are worth it!!!!!
(((((TAL)))))
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
You made me cry...in a good way though. I know if I had to I could maybe do it, but not without it effecting my boys and that would just kill me. My S5 will be going to kindergarten next year, so that would be ok, but my 2 year old would not adjust too well.
I don't know.. Im feel like im crazed right now.. Knowhere to turn, trying to act like everything is normal esepcially when I talk with my mom and sister... I could never tell them what was going on.. they would say "I told you so"... and make matters worse.. so here I am.
He hasen't called, not that I expect him too.. he usually gets out of the woods around 11 or so.. If he calls should I answer or blow him off??
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I went to another session of my DivorceCare support group last evening. This session was on Finances. One of the things they focused on was how a divorce seriously alters the lifestyle of both people because of the changes in finances. Suddenly two households have to be maintained on the same income. It is not something spouses should take lightly, and is one reason why their first recommendation as a solution is to "Abort the Divorce", if at all possible. But of course, they went on to provide further contingencies, since so many these failing M's still lead to D.
In your case, the one thing they brought out is that now of days, with so many D's taking place and there being so many SAHM's reentering the workplace, many employers are starting to take that into consideration. Some even offer employee training assistance for women in this situation. (This was something I never realized until I heard it myself last night.)
Suddenly two households have to be maintained on the same income
This is sooo true. Heck, in my head, I was adding up what it would cost just for H and I to separate (and him move to his dad's rent free) and the cost is enormous...need basically two of everything to make the kids comfortable. YIKES
The day got worse before it go better...To sum it up.. won't get into every detail.. he is extremely needy person. He thinks that I love him, but im not IN love with him, go figure
Actually, sometimes I think that is true and maybe im not even seeing it because of the rut ive been in with him.
Regardless, I do love him, he also says that he feels that I don't like to hang with him or be with him... I don't know where he gets this from???He says that I don't "want" him. It all goes back to the sex thing... We had an off wk.. so he takes it that I don't want to be with him and that he feels inadequate... I swear he has a complex.
He totally exhausts me. The fight did get so bad that I told him we should seperate because I just couldn't take the constant issues he has with me. He then calmed down and said he wants to be with me and just wants to be wanted..
I don't know what to do. I've been more attentive to him the last day or so, I'm going to try and be more aware of it.. what more can I do?? everybody wants mommy to give them attention.. and im getting burned out.
Tal
I don't know how to help him or make him know that I do want to be with him.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
