Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy And the beat goes on...

I think the first step is by not jumping into another relationship unlike *ahem* others I know.

I personally think it's all in how you are raised.. I know for a fact that her mom manipulates the crap out of everyone including her H. She's grown up with it. She's also got some issues physically that are a result of her being born WAY premature. So.. she's always been sheltered. I mean VERY sheltered.

Her mom is the main source of her self esteem. I kid you not.. that woman will walk into the house and say these 3 things before she gets her coat off:

1. Have you gained weight?
2. When's the last time you vaccuumed?
3. Have the girls eaten?

She attacks the 3 things my wife values most:

1. Her self image
2. Her housework (she is OCD in this department.. no kidding)
3. How she's raising her children.

10 minutes and she's depressed as all get out.

She also mind jobs you. If she watches the girls.. or helps you out in any way, she gets the opportunity to play with your head.

I've tried for YEARS to get W to see and understand this. She had made some progress, but unfortunately, she viewed me in the same light. She really is in dire need of counseling. I'm very scared at how her way of being is going to affect the girls. When we were together, I could shield the girls from this. Now.. it's wide open.

Just a quick aside to how messed up MIL is. For our oldest D's 1st B-day, we had a party at our house. We had the cake and everything. Instead of waiting for W and I to give D the piece of cake and sing Happy B-day, she took it upon herself to start.

I yelled at her.. wrongly.. in front of everyone. "What are you doing?? Let W do that!!" It was after all our 1st childs 1st B-day.

I got hell for 6 months.. I eventually had to apologize to MIL.

She won.

Wow.. what a crazy lady. How does she feel about your separation from her daughter?

Jar-

I'm just wondering if our MIL's were related!! My MIL (may she rest in peace), could be very manipulative. She always got what she wanted. She would defend her boys to the end, but then turn around out of sight of others and call them every name in the book and tell them they weren't worth anything. There was a point when my H and I were first together that things were so bad he told me that I would likely never meet his mom. She could turn anything around to make it seem like it was your fault. I remember my FIL getting upset because he'd gone to use his credit card and she'd maxed it out. He was embarrased because he, H and I were out shopping and we had to pay for what he was buying. When we got home, he told her that they owed us money. She somehow turned it around and made it his fault. I was amazed at how she was able to do it, but she did. No wonder why my H has self-esteem issues.

SueS

Good morning. Jarhead, or should I call you THREADLOCKER?





I'd like to share a happy thought with you that I recently had while my STBXW was jumping on my case.

"very soon I won't have to answer to the alien inside you anymore."

(Unless it's about the kids of course.)


There's not much of a silver lining here, but that's one of them.

I hope it doesn't come to that point for you though brother. Maybe ET will go home and leave your W here.

MIL has taken W's side. Expected that. She and I never got along. She would constantly by vitamins and all natural stuff for the D's and I'd throw it away. She started sneaking it behind my back.. I'd find it and throw it away. Their Doc said they didn't need it and it could cause more harm than good. MIL doesn't like MD's. Goofball.

I'm sure W has given them all kinds of bum info as well. She is her moms enabler. They are a codependent pair.

Tonight, MIL is watching the D's until 6 when OM and his kids come over. That knocks me over.. I just can't imagine them accepting this.. especially so quickly. They have to see she's out of her mind. I guess they are just letting it run it's course as well.

Supposedly, her mom took her to the Dr. yesterday. Wonder if W told her about the email.

I know in some ways, MIL has pushed for this. What she doesn't realize, is that until they both learn to live with each other "normally" this will be a cycle that always repeats.

So.. W called and left me a message.. basically wanted to talk about D's.. see how I'm doing and she has computer problems.

Dork.

Then she texted me.. computer problems and asked if D's needed a bath. I responded "Busy.. girls had a bath last night"

I was hoping she'd get the message.

Nope.. "My internet isn't working"

Me: "Can't help you there.. call the cable company or have OM look at it"

She: "You're being mean"

Nope.. just letting you live your dream.

BTW... my take on the sitch above..

I think it's laughable that she calls me mean because I won't let her use me when it's convenient for her.

Ha!!

Yeah Jar... that girl is nuts. I dont understand the logic some of these people have. I understand being foggy, but retarded?

Jarhead,

You mean, mean man. Why don't you drop everything, put your life on hold and sit by the phone waiting to answer her every little whim. (Tongue firmly in cheek).

She has to get the message that she is making this life for herself and has to also accept the consequences. You are doing great sticking to your principles; she may look great, but inside she is ugly.

Mean old Jarhead. Sounds like what my oldest says when he doesn't get his way.