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Very well done today so2 you gave him only the facts and talk about detached sounding!!!
and i love that you wouldn't let him rush right over and told him tomorrow. Could you arrange not to be there? That would really be good.

Great job hope the PMA goes up for you once you detach from his crap and let him deal with it on his own.

JAK

Oh this is hard.

Yes it is but, it will get a bit easier down the road either way.
I can tell you that much as it has for me and im'e sure most of us here. Just the same it is very hard work but you will reap the rewards of being the best peraon that you can be for you.

(((((so2)))))

JAK

The evenings seem to be the hardest. It took everything I had to not think about the sich. My kids were home so thankfully they kept me a bit distracted.

I honestly was feeling a bit weak. I was putting some baby clothes away and looked around the babys room. I had this urge to send a pic to dh. Maybe to make him feel bad to see what he was missing, rub it in...I didn't send it.

When I was feeling weak I went over and over in my head why I was doing this. He wants to live 2 lives...one with me and one as a single man. Where was he on Saturday when I was in hospital? His relationships with OW and probably others. That is why I am doing this. Not because he is such a great guy and so dependable.

I want the easy to come soon....this withdrawl is so hard and the reality that dh is probably never going to be the man I want or need.

I'm sorry to see you still going through this after all this time. I've only been at it 1 month and it's killing me. I can't offer you any advice. I don't know how to handle my sitch much less give you advice on yours. I know that all R are different and mine may not be like yours, but I am quickly coming to the conclusion that this might be hopeless. It's really hard for me to look at it that way, because I had all the hope in the world that we would make it and be a family. I feel for you and I only wish that you find the peace and love you and your children deserve.

Honey, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

It will get easier you just have to keep those boundries in place.

H needs to work on himself right now and you can not fix this for him.
By you letting him come and go you were letting him cake-eat and not allowing him to work on his issues. He needs to figure it out on his own.

You are doing well and day by day you will feel more at ease (at least i did).

NOW GO DO SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU!!!!

JAK

Why do you call him dh? Isn't he dXh???? And since he's divorced and single why shouldn't he date other women???

Once again you are right Jak.

My mom found out today about my hospital trip over the weekend. I really have never told her much through all of this including during the separation. She is the kind that will lose sleep fretting. She also found out that dh wasn't there. She was sorta funny. She held her tongue and then couldn't any longer. She let me have it about him. How many chances do you give him? When is it time to say enough? I will be fine without him. I felt bad as I could see she was very worried about me and the situation. Motherly thing. I would be worried about my daughter too I guess.

I honestly think that even with years apart dh will never work on his issues. It just may be part of his character. But I am certainly not going to make this easy for him. He will have to pull his weight with his child or not see her.

SO2,

Then you will learn to be happy without him because you deserve that!!!!

Yes, don't make it easy for him with your baby Or anything else or HE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE, as he has so far.

Have a good day today.

JAK

No words from him. None since Monday. I went to my son's wrestling match last night and a gf who knows was shocked that he hasn't even tried to say sorry or stand up. In fact, that is what she says it sounds like....a stand off! Who is going to weaken first. Heaven forbid he apologizes or admits wrong. That is a true sign of weakness in his mind.