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So do you just ignore the texts? I got some hangups again last night. Drives me so crazy. Then this morning another text from this psycho 'shhh.he is still texting me and is lying to you'

WTF? So dh calls this am. I ask him if he has been texting anyone. He immediately goes off and tells me today isn't a day to push his buttons. He is having a bad one and doesn't want to hear about my drama. Oh, ok. I said I recieved another text. He started yelling that I am letting this person ruin my life. That I think its OW and he does not (so now he is defending her again). He isn't doing anything, etc. He is screaming this to me. Little does he know that I know that at least 10 days ago he was texting with OW! He went on to yell that we had a good Thanksgiving and a good weekend and now I am ruining it. He said he was busy and had to go.

What now?

SO2, sound to me like you are doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

Have you given up on giving him the letter you wrote before Thanksgiving?

NNP....I must be in denial! Every time we have a few good days I think we are turning a corner only to find a wall ahead.

Strange thing this morning now. I need to use the camera (that I bought) today for a kid activity. I knew dh had used it over the weekend and still had it. I sent a text asking where it was as I wanted to use it today. He never responded. I called his number and he screened me out. I called back and he answered all irritated. I nicely asked where the camera was. He snapped that it was at his house somewhere and he didn't know. I said ok, I will go look for it. He hung up without saying goodbye. I went up and found it.

So for some reason I am on HIS shitlist! I am being stalked by OW or some psycho. They are telling me he is basically still cheating. I have last months phone bill saying he is still in contact with OW and HE is mad at ME?

I still have the letter saved. Maybe I should just email it.

Well, my snooping source has been cut off. Probably for the best. He figured out someone has been logging in to his account online and changed passwords etc. Now I can't tell if he is talking with OW or not.

So2, I think you know the answer with out looking.

You are right. Now I just don't know what to do now that he has found my source of info. If I give him the letter now, he will figure it out that I snooped. That may have to wait a week or two. Now what to do in the meantime.

He had the nerve to tell me that this stalker drama happening over and over again is really "pushing him away". WTF! HIM! If anyone, it should be pushing me away.

I have to figure out my next move...help guys!

Sorry for the million posts today.

I just got back from my C session. Always comes at a good time. I filled her in on the events of Thanksgiving and the past week. All of it. Good and bad.

She finds his anger and outbursts disturbing. That in the past even when we were married he used anger and threats(not physical, but D/leaving me threats) to control situations. She felt in his mind that he had to be the leaver and not the leavee. He was left in the dust by his first wife.

So now, instead of showing compassion and owning up to leaving the marriage and mistakes he is making now he has to constantly find things that are wrong with me to avoid looking in the mirror. When I tell him I am scared about the text messages from Stalker...instead of showing compassion and support he gets angry and says he doesn't want to hear about it and how its pushing him away.

I also told the C about his drinking all weekend and hiding it from people. Substance abuse was one of our big issues when married and now I seem to be cowering about it just to keep him happy.

She had me make a list. A list of my 'will not tolerates' Here it is:

- I will not tolerate weekend binge drinking and drinking and driving.
-I will not tolerate contact with OW or anyone else that is inappropriate.
-I will no tolerate anything less than complete honesty from him.
-I will not tolerate being the doormat and doing all the repair work in this relationship.
-I will not tolerate his angry outbursts.

I have a home, 3 kids and one on the way. I need to protect them as well as myself.

Another journal/vent post.

I just got home from my son's wrestling match. His first one and he won!! Yeah.

Anyway my son's good friend is OW's ex stepson. No big deal. Well OW walked in the door! I was sitting with OW's exh and his family and she came in with this big grin. Said she was there to support her ex stepson. What a phoney crock of crap! The family just smiled and sorta rolled their eyes at her. She acts like she is everyones best friend.

Kicker.....when my son got up to wrestle she cheered him on. Ick. I would love to rip the phoney smile off her face.

I haven't heard from dh since early this afternoon when we had the blowout about everything. I don't care right now. Its all his loss.

I woke up remembering something else my C said yesterday. She wants me to keep this in mind as well as communicate it to dh.

'Do you want your wife and family or do you want to be a single man? Because you can't have both.'

Right now, he has both.

I actually had a good evening last night even with OW being there. I can't stand her but I finally looked at her with pity. She knows she is in the wrong and I know I am doing the right thing. And if it ends up the dh can't step up and walks away and even ends up with her I know I have done the right thing.

No contact from dh. It just amazes me how he can turn something that he clearly had a part of (stalker) and get angry and withdraw from me.

Trying to smile and keep busy today.

I was telling a gf last night at my son's wrestling match about my stalker (a.k.a. OW I believe) and the text messages she has been sending to me. I didn't tell my friend directly that I thought it was OW. She was the first person IRL that I have told besides dh. She was shocked to say the least.

She did bring up a good point with it...the reason this is happenening is dh's fault. Because of his cake eating, he has 2 or more frustrated women. Me and stalker. He has a foot in each pond but never fully jumping in to either. Stalker gets frustrated and makes threats. Dh is obviously giving off signals and vibes that he is still an unattached man to the world. If he ever chooses to stop giving off those signals, the threats to me would stop.

Anyway, another interesting thought. Sorry to keep posting so much. It is what is keeping me sane right now. Dh just sent a text telling me to have a good day and hope I slept well......HA!! I plan on having a great day!