Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE Would you be curious?

I thought that was the Soviets...

Ahhh, Hairdog -- my FAVORITE QUOTE!

Well, that and "Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission." Those two.

Oh! And Potter Stewart, who said "I can't define 'pornography', but I know what it is when I see it!"

Those three.

Oh, and . . .

Choc.

Lou,

I'd guess that the real reason an LDW would stay away is:

7) Not being emotionally ready/not having the emotional strength to confront her own very deep seated issues around her own very frustrated sexuality.

In a word, avoidance. Just too darn hard.

My W was.

Oh, and Choc: I think the saying is, "...its easier to beg forgiveness, than ask persmission".

Yes, I came upon the site after reading some of the SSM book that my husband asked me if I would read. I was a "lurker" for some time and had an idea that a certain poster was my husband. Once it became clear that is was indeed my husband, I came on board.
Was it and is it helpful? Certainly! I asked IC if there was anything that he didn't want me to read, just out of respect for him. After he said "no", I went back and read all his posts and realized the pain and hurt that he was feeling due to my rejection of him.

I know some may argue that if the spouse knows of the DBing techniques that they might not work as well...kind of like giving the playbook to the other team. I feel that if you execute the "plays" in a REAL manner and not just for the sake of saving your marriage, then it really doesn't matter if the other "team" knows the plays...they will still be effective.

IC made changes in his life using the techniques as a guideline and while they may have started out as "plays" to help save his marriage...somewhere along the line, it turned into "No, I'm doing these things for me. They are real..not for my wife, not for my marriage....this IS who I am and who I WANT to be, for ME and no one else." So IC's "plays" turned into a way of life for him...he found himself again. That same guy that I originally fell in love with...was and is back

I know at times, it seems like maybe Mr. & Miss IC communicate TOO much on here and I feel there is a few good reasons for that.
Our schedules do not allow for much overlap time for just the two of us. Yes, we use e-mail, phone calls, notes etc... But what is special about these boards is that when you convey something on here to your spouse, you get the added benefit of numerous opinions on what you're trying to say...it's like having a whole room full of marriage councelors acting as referees and best of all....they are FREE