Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Suspect Affair- please help!

KPK,

Your first thread hit such a strong note with me. My H had an A with one of his employees. He kept telling me she was someone I would like and get on with really well. he sold her our piano. He took my kids with ther and her kids to the cinema and to a pop concert etc!!!!!

I didn't know about the A for 18 months because he kept convincing me I was paranoid and I just believed him.

OW in the end was no competiotion once I put my mind to the task in hand. You sound so on the right track - well done!!!!!

Saffie

Brilliant!! You have an advantage where he doesn't know you know anything too.....you go girl.

Thanks, all, for the support! Trying to keep the PMA here, and figure out how to screw with his head this weekend

If I find out that she is in fact the OW, and my H involved my kids, I may not be responsible for my actions...

Someone asked if I know her status with her H- unfortunately I don't and have no way of finding out. No access to my H's computer or cell- all are work related and password protected. Anyone good at hacking?

Saffie- huge similarities here; pianos, tables, its all the same. Raising 2 kids also put space between us and I, like you, didn't realize how unhappy my H was until he dropped the bomb; thought we'd get through the tough years with the kids and then get things back on track. How did you finally get proof of the affair? I'm also dealing with the "love you but not in love with you" thing- did you get any of that? How are things for you now? Am trying to act "as if", and be "an exciting, mysterious woman"!

Me 39
H 45
M 11 T 13
D6
S3
ILYBNILWY 7/07
H still here, possible OW

kpk...

Wow your doinn GREAT!! Im so glad for you.. im sitting here laughing.. I wish I was a fly on the wall! Keep us posted!

tal

KPK

My H told me of the A. Apparently he had been leaving hints but I was too trusing to pick up on them - he had mangaed to make me really think I was imagining things. he eventually told me when OW had left her H and kids and was trying to push my H into trying to get me to leave the marital home!!!!!!

Things got very nasty for about a week. I tried to commit suicide - not something I would recommend. My psychiatrist told my H what an idiot he was being and then H asked me to help him get rid of OW - so I did.

I still can't beleive the audacity of a woman that would come into my home and accept my hospitality whilst having designs on my H. Basically she wanted my life.

Saffie

Lol. You go girl. I really enjoyed reading your post. I love it. I too have started doing some different things. My H isn't here most of the time but when he is I make I look great. He was supposed to come home on Friday, changed his mine. So I went dark yesterday, changed my profile to being really flirty (just for him though) and didn't say a word. He unblocked his character (so I could see him online and find him) immediately. Me, hah, not falling for that one. I completely ignored it, kept playing my game and then logged off and went to bed. That was a big 180 for me. It's time for me to play hard to get and mysterious too. Please keep posting, I'm taking notes!

Unfortunately, I don't know of any way to prepare for that. I've found that intelletually *knowing* and then having proof, or a confession, are two different things. With the second (even with forewarning) the rage and anger can be unexpectedly overwhelming. But please do try to keep try to keep your anger in check and avoid doing anything that can come back at you. Like if you have to throw something at someone. Make sure it's soft....




I don't recommend this, but I hired a private investigator. The amount of information you can get differs by state. Getting the information doesn't always make things better.... and it can make it worse. I think what you are doing (DBing, GALing, working on your own personal "edginess") is a better way to spend your time.... and money.