Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Another thread... another dollar

So... W just called to talk to D's and she was crying. Evidently the visit went well and she has not 1 but 2 potential buyers for her horse. I told her I was sorry (I meant for her.. not for the horse being sold).

We talked some specifics about it and she asked if I would talk to the barn owner.. I told her they were her horses and she needed to handle that by herself.

She's supposed to pick up the D's at 10 tomorrow... now it's no later than 11. Stock dropping... Then I asked when and where should I call D's tomorrow. She said "Try my mom's.. if you don't get me there, please call my cell"

Damn it.

I hope at some point during the day my D's say "I want to see daddy on Thanksgiving"

Oh yeah.. while on the phone.. she got a text message. I'm sure from BF.

Man this sucks. She was VERY interested in what I was doing for Thanksgiving. I almost wish I had a GF so I could tell her so.

UGH.

Jar..hang in there man. For some reason (and I could be wrong) I sense your wife is missing you. Obviously she is not happy, selling the horse is only the tip of the iceberg. She might think the OM is the answer to all her prayers but he's not. She's not happy.

Trust me Jar... Ive been there before. Stay confident, I really think its working for you.

Continue to validate her feelings but be a rock... let your actions do the talking for you. You are a man, a good man, continue to be that way.

Happy thanksgiving bro...I know tomorrow is going to be hard on all of us.

H4C

You're doing great Jarhead. Just keep being the responsible adult that you are--that's the only way to keep from being sucked into the insanity.

From the inside insanity looks normal, and you can get lost in it. Sometimes a person needs to be separated from a situation in order to see it for what it is. If you and your W decide to reconcile, this perspective will help you to re-define the realationship in a healthy way. If not, your perspective will help you to build a healthy relationship with someone else.

Having said all that, the process still really sucks and I really wish you didn't have to go through it.

Try to take a break from all of this crud and have a relaxing Thanksgiving.

Nut

Jarhead,

Keep up the good work, you are making a difference, if only for you and your children.

I thought I would also drop a couple of 'Special Forces' into the debate from my side of the ponds; SAS and SBS.

Had the honour of training (or victim) with SAS once. Those boys rock.

Thanks all.. I'm sure this is going to be a rough stretch for most of us on here.

Seeing all the Xmas commercials, movies, etc. All about family and "togetherness".

I appreciate all the encouragement. I'm glad I found this place.. couldn't imagine going through this without it.

I'm going to take a break and seriously reevaluate some things.

Pamar.. yes.. SAS is pretty bad ass.

Not sure I know what SBS is?

Hey jar,

Can your wife get a first refusal clause put in with the sale of the horse? I would certainly do that if I were selling mine.

Man on man, my horse was one of my worries when my H dropped his bomb. Living with a man that doesn't like horses stinks - if your W needs to know what that's like point her in my direction. If I ever split with my H I would make damn sure the next one liked them!!!

Jar, I am sorry about your W. To someone like me who lives and breathes my horse after my kids and H, it is a measure of the insanity of the place your W is in, (although to her I would think she feels desperation inside), that she could part company with one let alone more.

I truly hope you have a good TG and that you get a call from your Ds.

Saffie

Yeah.. even funnier.. OM hates horses!!

It's her mom.. she's driving the train. W lets her do it.

So.. special update. W calls this morning. She's supposed to pick up D's at 11. She asks if I can bring them over.. I said "You were supposed to pick them up here weren't you?'

She: "Yeah.. kind of"
Me: "What do you mean kind of?"
She: "Well.. I didn't get to bed till 6 and I'm just now getting going"

Perfect.. Oh yeah.. she got a text while on the phone.

OK. My W is an OK mother at best.. don't mean to slam her, but she doesn't discipline them and is in a very selfish place now.

I called MIL.. I told her that I wasn't tattling, but I wanted her to pay special attention to the D's because W was out till 6. Probably a dumb move, but I really am worried about the girls. She will be short tempered with them and I know it.

MIL seemed appreciative. I could care less if W finds out at this point. She needs to realize that our girls are the most important thing in our lives. She really needs to grow up.

Good for you Jar.. Make those little girls your utmost priority. I know today will probably be hard for you, keep ypur wits about you. One day you will look back on this day and I wont bother you. One foot in front of the other.

Ive been a nervous wreck all morning, W might be introducing D to OM today. It seems so final to me, like the last nail in the coffin for Hurtin.

Happy Thanksgiving all.

Jarhead,

Well done on the MIL, a difficult tightrope to walk.

SBS are the Special Boat Service, our Navie's elite. Bad ass like the SAS, but with flippers!

Hi all.. hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

So day was interesting!!

Took D's over to W's. She literally jumped up on me to give me a hug.

So.. let me set the scene... she is in her pajamas.. glasses on (usually contacts).. Bar stamp on her hand.. picture of all 4 kids (ours and OM's) at the Aquarium on top of the TV. Dozen roses with a card that says "You are special" from OM. Oh yeah.. and I'm sure she was on the phone with OM when we got there.

So.. talk about D's, details etc about them. I'm getting ready to leave and phone rings. Evidently, it's OM. She goes into her room and is talking. Next thing I hear is D5 "Hi OM.. Happy Thanksgiving!!" I'm outta there.. I tell her bye and she tells me to hold on and pushes me out the door..

She gives me a hug and ASKS FOR A KISS. Her BF is on the phone with our 5 year old daughter!?!?

I told her no. She had tears welling up in her eyes and we parted ways.

Now.. here is a series of texts between us that followed:

She: "Happy Thanksgiving dear! I will always love you!"
Me: "You too.. You will always be in my heart"
She: "Amazing that you can turn off the love! Ok have a great day!"

WTF?? Who has the BF?

Me: "Not turned off. I still love you. More than you know. Have fun at your moms!!"
She: "Just getting there!"
Me: "Cool.. Tell them I said Happy Thanksgiving!!"
She 2 hours later: "Ok"

OK.. So I told her I'd call at 6 to talk to the D's. She said call her moms and if they weren't there to call her cell.

I called her moms and they "just left"

Called W's cell.. basically I tried to get ahold of her for 1.5 hours. I even texted OM and said "If W is there can you have her call me so I can say goodnight to the girls? Thanks"

Finally, I called and got ahold of her.. She's apologetic and said she lost track of time. I'm obviously pissed. I played it cool.

Also, her mom lied to me.. not sure how to read it, but she left 45 minutes before I called and MIL said they just left. UGH.

Anyway.. that was my day. How was yours?