Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

Mark F, you are brilliant....



Yes!



Do you live here with me??? Wow.

Thanks for great insight, and I mean that.

Sue just wanted to say good morning. Hope this is a great day for you!! : ) Did you get the tree out last night? We put up ours a couple nights ago. It made me smile lots. The kid's were so cute decorating. Even ,y 17 year old loves the tradition of the decorating of the tree still. lol Last night I put up my 6 foot snow globe in the yeard.lol

Good morning-

Paul, lwb, Mark F, Trying......so nice of you all to stop and "talk" to me. Trying, I'd wondered where you were at. I hadn't seen you on the boards the past few days!!

H emailed me yesterday saying that he might have a shift change. Not a huge deal, but changing his Wed. hours to where he'd be getting off at 11:00 pm instead of 9:00. Wed. is the night he usually sneaks off to see OW (she's off at 11:30), so I got a little suspicious of why he chose Wed. (it was his choice). I called him and asked if he knew when it would start. I said....What made you choose Wed.? He told that it makes sense since he doesn't work until noon on Thurs. anyway and he doesn't want to give up any of his 10-7 shifts. All valid answers. I ended the convo. quickly by telling him I needed to run some errands for work.

Went to my C session yesterday. I really like this woman. She's so great. She kept telling me to make sure that I understand that this A is not about me, it's about my H's insecurities and issues. She said.....Sue, we'll get through this....I'll do my best to help you keep your feet on the ground and grow through this, whether it means you end up with or without him in the end. She's a little confused by my H's actions also. She said he sounds very confused and wonders if he's suffering from some sort of illness (depression, a touch of bi-polar)...etc. She knows that it's an MLC too.

Quiet rest of the night. Picked D3 up from school, went home, made dinner and just hung out. Didn't feel like doing any housework, so D3 and I just relaxed. I was in bed watching tv (almost asleep) when H came home. I heard him get ready to go workout. I woke up around midnight and he was home. I guess no Wed. night rendevous for the lovers. H fell asleep on the couch watching tv and that's where he stayed. D3 got up a few times wanting me.

Just got up this morning, got ready for work and left early. I feel good today. I'm a little more motivated than I have been lately. I think the C session helped.

Mark F.- I wanted to say thank you for adding your thoughts to my thread. You're welcome to stop by ANYTIME. I do understand that his anger is easiest placed on me, when in fact it's all internal. I know that he sees me as the trap that he's in. But, as much as it hurts to see someone else fulfilling his needs right now, I'm not ready to let go. I'm trying hard not to push because I know all to well how that makes things worse. The past few days it's been like a light has been turned on. I feel like really starting to live life for me and D3. I got the best hug last night. It was just random. She ran up to me and said that she loves me. I love to kiss her cheek. I kept kissing it. She told me.....Mommy, you have to stop giving me so many kisses or your lips will fall off and you won't be able to talk anymore!! So funny.

Well, I do need to get busy so I don't lose the motivation I have.

Have a great day everyone!!

SueS

sue,
Im so glad you like your new C.. that's great.. She will help you, even if its just to vent.

Have a great day!!

tal

Hi TAL-

Thanks for stopping by. I'm trying to have a good day.

Just a little mad at my H this morning. I think D3 may have a bladder infection. I called H this morning to ask him some questions (since he's with her in the morning). I got his voicemail. Left a message as to why I was calling. Got a call back, from D3. I had to ask her questions. Now damn it, don't talk to me about most things if you don't want to. But when it comes to our D3 possibly being sick.....YOU CALL ME BACK and talk to me. Don't put D3 on the phone. C'mon!! Just another thing for me to handle.

SueS

SueS,

One word for him - Muppet. Whatever else is going on in his life, he has to take responsibility for his Ds health.

IMHO its alright to call him out on that and tell him that she is priority when not well.

Hi Sue, Your C sounds like a "keeper". I hope you quickly reach the point that I did with my own C: Spend 5 minutes of the session talking about the latest craziness from your spouse - get that out of the way.

Then, spend the REST of the session talking about YOU. 'Cause counseling is not about making him better at all - it's 100% for YOU.

I *hate* when H does that with the girls. Yeah, love you, love you...but honey, let me talk to Daddy.... UGH

Rob is right. C is there for Sue!!

Wow Sue your husband sounds quite similar to mine. He has never been on his own either. Well, he was in the Marines but that was different. Other than that married then divorced. Went back home to parents then met me. What a smuck about the phone call.

Have you noticed that you're not dwelling on what your H is doing quite as much as a few weeks ago? Good for you!

I have to agree with Pamar, pointing out that D3's health is top priority wouldn't be a bad thing. He's acting like a jerk face. I think the thing that bothers me most about WAS's is that they are so selfish and any little nugget of decency towards others earns them a gold star. The LBS carries the load, most of the responsibility while getting treated like crap and is thrilled when a person emerges from the alien every now and then. Pardon my vent..lol

You're doing better? It sounds like you're in a more peaceful place. I'm glad that you have a counselor you trust and respect. That's def going to help you be more centered.

Sheila