Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

Husband-

Yeah, it was a nice conversation. I really miss my H. Of course, not the one that hugs his side of the bed, takes his ring off, is involved in an A....etc. MY H. Not that guy that is living in the same space as D3 and me.

I noticed on Mark's thread that he mentioned his W has some friends right now that aren't the best. My H is like that too. Most of his are a lot younger and single. He had some good ones that he worked with that were older and shared some of his interests, but when this whole mess started, he started spending more time with the younger ones....looking for his lost youth I guess. I think he also needs someone younger to look up to him so he feels like he has someone that respects him. If he'd only look around him, he'd see that D3 and I have respect for him. The only one close to our age that I really met was OW's husband. So much for that.

Again, I miss him.

SueS

SueS,

I hear what you are saying and I miss my W also. I suppose I didn't realise that she was gone for a long time and I also see some glimpses of her, but I miss the 'us'.

Stick in there and remember that we are here for you.

Sue... I feel for you. While I cant offer much advice, I admire you for the strong woman you are. Any man would be lucky to have a W like you.

H4C

Good morning-

Well, a busy day here at work. My General Manager's boss is in town and some things have come up that threw a wrench into my schedule for the day.

Strange night last night. H had told me yesterday that he was going to ask me to start dinner. I called H at work before he left and he was polite. He told me just to get something started and he do the rest of the work. H got home on time and got busy with dinner. He was in a different kind of mood...okay, but just different. I kept catching him watching me. Not sure what that was about. Weird thing was after dinner we were all sitting in the living room together. He just blurted out....So, what are you guys doing for Christmas?....Are your parents coming here or are you going home? I was stunned. The look on his face was more of a....Am I included look, although I could be way off on that. I told him that my parents asked if they could come down the weekend of the 21-22, but that "we" would be staying home. I asked why he would ask me that. He said...I don't know, it's just that daycare is closed and I didn't know what you wanted to do. He just kind of left it at that.

Tried to get D3 to bed last night, which was kind of a chore. At one point we were laying in bed watching tv and she started doing her version of a whistle, which sounds more like a yelp. We both were laughing at her. Finally got her to sleep. Got back to bed and H was asleep. H snuggled with me a lot last night.

I called H this morning to let him know that school was doing conferences next week. He snapped at me when he answered the phone. I let it roll off my back and just told him that I'd already put in for a time, but if he felt he could make it, he could change it for a later slot. He told me that he couldn't get off work. I said...that's fine, I just thought I'd put it out there for you.....talk to you later. Not in a good mood this morning.

Well, as I said, busy day. I need to get a move on.

Have a great day.

SueS

Ain't that the truth? This is so common - I like the 'my spouse has been abducted by aliens and replaced with an insane evil twin' way of thinking about it.

So, what great new things do you have planned for yourself today, Sue?

Hi sues.. sorry for the mood swings, it must be imbedded in all of them and its so so annoying. you never know what to expect. That's the worst part.

Im glad your letting it roll off your back, but its hard. Sometimes we are just their punching bags.

Try and have a good day..

((hugs))

tal

Rob-

Well, I had a great lunch planned, but that fell through due to some work issues. Hopefully it can be rescheduled in the future.

For work, I have plans to get myself caught up a little more. I have a big project that I need to dive into after I handle some things for my boss. I need to organize a little too.

For home. I think a little organizing will help there too. It was 7 degrees here this morning, so I can definately make sure all the winter clothes are out.

-A little time with D3 too. We spent some time last night working on some letters/numbers. She LOVES that stuff and I bought her a new dry erase book that she is loving to use.

-Get something posted on Ebay or Craig's List. I have something I want to sell just to see how I do with it. If that goes okay, I want to post a few other things. Nothing major.

Maybe a bit much, but we'll see how it goes.

Hi TAL- So glad to hear from you! I didn't like H's snotty way of answering the phone, but I let it roll off because it's morning and it was getting close to his time to leave for work. I just didn't want him to get to school and wonder why I'd set up a conference without him. I had just wanted to get a spot before the good ones were gone.

I cried a little on the way to pick up D3 yesterday, but I've been getting angry again, which pushes me to do more for me and pushes me to get my sh*t straight. Definately helps that I'm feeling so much better this week.

SueS

There you go - channel that angry energy into taking more control of your life! You'll be glad you did.

Very glad you are finally feeling better too!

SueS,

Glad you are feeling better and that you are doing stuff for you and your D3.

Sounds like you're on the right track!

I noticed that part of your sitch reminds me a little of mine a year or so ago. I can only tell you that you're doing the right thing by not focusing on what your H is doing - especially by NOT checking his Cell bill.

What continues to help me with my marriage now is to not even care about his cell phone bill or what he sends out in email. He's not having any A now, but at times my fear causes me to wonder and it's at that point that I pray and thank God for causing my H to want to be the man I need and that I know he truly wants to be. Frankly - what keeps me here most is my faith and belief in God and what God is doing in my H's life. It's amazing how much my trust in God has grown!

Was your H a pretty straight-up guy before? If so, then deep down inside he probably still wants to be that person but doesn't know how. That's when we HAVE TO GIVE THEM TO GOD. Because, as you know, the only one that can be around someone 24/7 is God.

The best thing to keep doing for yourself is find and DO things that make you happy. PERIOD. Which it sounds like you're doing. KEEP IT GOING!

I'm praying for you, as I don't know if I would stay with my H if he had another A. THAT WOULD DEFINITELY TAKE A MIRACLE FROM GOD AND PROBABLY ME HEARING GOD'S VOICE VERBALLY.....LOL

God Bless & keep us posted! Great going on doing good at your job too! THAT DEFINITELY BUILDS YOUR PERSONAL ESTEEM!