Yeah, not much on classic rock although it was definitely on in the house when I was young as I had older brothers. Has kept me young at heart anyway. My daughter certainly appreciates my taste in music! She is 11 so there ya go, there's my maturity level! Funny how I also like hot little cuties who have nice voices these days.
C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
The saga of the WAS who wants it all they want their family main course but also the side dish , I really think that detaching from this situation is not only good for you but also the only way the WAS will move forward.
You're right on target, as usual, Dave.
As L said,..... "keeping up with your crazyazz ride. And while I'm sure it's exhausting and draining,I'm totally on board with Nomo's take on this as well."
I think I was making it more exhausting by creating pressure to bring things to a resolution "right now", & we all know how attractive that is.
I had a phone convo w/both CVA & Nomo before H arrived back at the house to drop off S4 in which they encouraged me to get back on track (after a very unpleasant evening w/H). I thought it was really too late this time to remedy the damage done. It's still shocking at how quickly it turns around when you stop acting bruised, & begin showing positive, happy behavior.
Since I've completely backed off & act As If I'm completely fine with the way things are, I've had nice interactions w/H.
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Has this shift helped your attitude and/or your ability to deal with this with even more equanimity than you've demonstrated up until now? I picture you out there in the lotus position, wine at hand, meditating
Yes, Puddle, it has helped. I've had to take the glass of wine out of the picture though, as I've recently found that it wasn't getting me closer to my goals.
One of my goals is to go through the holiday's making it as pleasant & nice for my kids as I can. That means letting go of my R having to be any way but what it is right now.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I think I was making it more exhausting by creating pressure to bring things to a resolution "right now", & we all know how attractive that is.
This is a great insight and a helpful reminder as well. I have to say, though, that I think it's totally understandable to yearn for resolution given the craziness of the ride.
Originally Posted By: warm&sunny
It's still shocking at how quickly it turns around when you stop acting bruised, & begin showing positive, happy behavior.
Since I've completely backed off & act As If I'm completely fine with the way things are, I've had nice interactions w/H.
That's terrific, Sunny. I guess it really is never too late. I'm happy for you.
Originally Posted By: warm&sunny
I've had to take the glass of wine out of the picture though, as I've recently found that it wasn't getting me closer to my goals.
Good for you, and ditto for me, at least for the most part. Maybe we can still share a glass on the ski trip.
Originally Posted By: warm&sunny
That means letting go of my R having to be any way but what it is right now.
Amen, Sunny. Those days when I feel like it's okay that things are exactly the way they are right now, like I'm embracing the present with all its uncertainty, are good days.
My dear, were you reading my mind to know just how much I needed to hear that today??
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One of my goals is to go through the holiday's making it as pleasant & nice for my kids as I can. That means letting go of my R having to be any way but what it is right now.
...As of this moment, this is my goal for the month!
