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My H gets this way sometimes. They have asked him 3 times to put up outside lights and he keeps putting them off. They stopped asking.

I am sorry, its hard to see our kids hurting.

PS: Good job at not answering him at first, and then declining his lovely offer.......

lwb,
Thank you for saying 'good job'. You made me smile this kinda support is so helpful for me these days. I am doing so well today.I feel I gain energy to control the situation/be positive.

My friends and I talk silly things like teenagers and we fantasize about stupid activities which may/may not make H and OW mad. Or at least they will have memory of me. And just think out loud with friends, laugh till cry and be silly..(?)

Well, I don't know if any of these are illegal or not but still this is "fantasy" and I have NO intention to do so.

*I would like to through a poop mix (my friends dogs and cats) to his or her door, especially the door nob which they have to use it to get cleaning supplies. Yeeuuuuuu~

*Write 'I'm stupid' on the back of H's neck while he is sleeping. Well, I know someone who wrote 'don't touch my husband' on his back and made a drama moment between OW and him...

there are more and more...

if disturb your day, i am sorry. but it just made me LOL somehow.. yes, i am childish (just in my head)

LOL You could write 'private property' on his...umm...privates.

PS: Funny thing, H put up tons of Christmas lights today.

Oh and I am so glad you are remaining positive. That's great.

Beauty... sorry you are here. I know how painful this must all be for you. But I can assure you we are all here for you. THe best thing to do at this point in time is to focus on you and your kids. Your children need you to be strong during these trying times. Keep DBing, it really works but takes a lot of time.

lwb,
I put lots of Christmas lights in the house. MyH says "its very home-y" several times and watching lights for a few moments. He really want to put the tree and decoration with kids and me. I thought its funny too.

I will remember 'privates'... thats really good one.




I saw him briefly when I gave our car to him(we only have one car and it his turn) He gave me a lollypop saying "glad you are here" I gave a smile and said thank you, very simple.

After small talk about how things going, he started to complain how hard for him to write lots of graduate school applications between study for class and GRE. After I validate his feeling like, "yea, i understand.. you are really busy these days and it is lots of things going on..." (but I know he has time for drinking at bars and going to gym everyday)

He said "I wish I have someone who can sit with me and help me"

Obvious...

I just didn't reply to it then and we started different topic. At last when he is leaving, I said to him "I can help you.." He did not say anything at all for a while and said " thought you wouldn't"


I really didn't know how to approach when he is asking for indirect/direct help and how much I should help him. Past 8 years, I am doing all these kind of work.. apply for financial aid, tax stuff, pay bills, sign up for classes, getting information on internet. I want him to understand that the consequences of breaking up with me is not to receive much helps in these things.. I am stuck.. but just this.

Still, I am Ms. positive today and ready to clean my house and give myself a facial massage.

Hurtin,
thank you for stopping by. I am glad you posted. I was reading other thread and found something in common. MyH is in long distance relationship w/OW and thinks that's going to work out. He decided to be with her after she moved away..

I really think their relationship is 'hopeless'. MyH cannot afford to call long distance. What they are doing is he calls her and she picks up phone and hung up.. and then, she calls him back. (LOL) That is a quite bad relationship.
I think she will need start sending him money soon cuz he is really broke. Yea, someday she will be giving me the child support... LOL

I just heard something I have to tell myself and hope help someone.

"sometimes, most powerful thing you can do is nothing"

Relax.. relax relax...


And I was wondering why I had good day... I didn't have nightmare last night! Nice to have good night sleep..

Journaling: my thoughts of today
Last night, I accepted his invitation; �gcan you come over�h, thinking �ejust let it happen�f. Tell you the truth; I didn�ft want to be alone at the time. I went over played with my son (D6 was sleeping already), watched a movie �ecars�f and H and I had nice conversation about �ewhy do you like this movie. I felt relaxed with him even though only several days ago, I was so mad, sad and crying. I felt he enjoyed my company and honestly I think we both had good time. I didn't think too much of sleeping in his bed through the night and I was OUT after took sleeping pill. Both of us didn't want kids to know we were sleeping in the same bed, so I got dress before kids woke up and I told kids that I came over a little early to pick them up.

No matter how much he hurts me and the marriage is not going forward, I enjoy being with him. I hate him for what he is doing but I still love him. Where my ego went �cam I being door mat?

Up-down up-down... I almost called him and start a fight just because I was very very upset about his lies. A little while ago, someone bought him lots lots of household things at Target, took him to dinner and he bought two movie tickets. I know it and he still lies to my face! Another thing is he has too much cash. I don't know what he is doing. I really think OW is involving in the money thing and the 'date'.


I know 'I don't need to know' but he shows me obvious lies and comes up in a conversation somehow. He is just not good lier or he wants me catch his lie.

BUT I am holding the anger and didn't confront him. I came here and reading threads to calm myself down. It is working


I don't know if it is okay to continue posting my thoughts more or what to do, If you don't mind my posting or you do.....can you give me feedback?

plumeria.summer@gmail.com

BEAUTY

Beauty,

You have had a really good attitude for being so early in your sitch. Good work! You are smart for posting your thoughts. Keep it up!!

And I love your sense of humor.

I'd suggest to work on detaching if you haven't already. Check out this link.... coping.org's detaching This was a great help to me. Lovingly detaching is something you might've already come across... it is SO important.

I know it's hard when you end up on that roller coaster again. Try to stay off of it. It is very challenging, I know, but you can do it. You are clearly a strong and wise woman.

Peace and love, f21