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Mark,

I am so sorry that your wife still needs to twist the knife.

You seem so strong, and that obviously annoys her.

Keep on keeping on.

saffie

Hi Mark,

I can't believe that she said those things to you...so sad. I don't know if you have been keeping up on my sitch, but XH finally broke down this weekend and admitted that he would take it all back if he could. I wish all WAS, especially your wife, could read my story and learn because here we are 3 months post-D and all XH wants is his old life back and he's never going to get it. It's very sad. Keep hanging in there and staying strong.

wow... your W sounds identicle to mine in her mentality, her fantasy, and the things she says.. it is amazing how cruel and heartless they can be... my W even told me herself that she is callous, and cold hearted to me strait to my face. Some people are nuts

Mark,

I am so sorry, man. It's not fair. It's just not right.

I've had some of the same attitude from my W. It's like they think that happiness is a zero-sum game or something -- in order for the WAS to ensure their own happiness they feel they have to tear us down, the LBS, and see that we are left utterly miserable and broken. It makes no logical sense, but then they are not operating on logic -- just selfish emotions, desire and anger.

But when we DB, GAL, 180, etc., we appear to not be playing by their one-sided rules, and it makes them more angry and resentful.

It still hurts though. Believe me, I know. We put on our defense, toughen up, grin and bear it. But it still hurts.

We're in your corner, Mark. And we're praying for you.

Ugh. Your W is still waaaay off the deep end in MLC-Land. Mine did the same thing - surrounding herself with "wonderful new friends" (including OM) who were every bit as screwed-up, unhappy, and pathetic as she was. She won't be able to see it, but relationships (both friendships and A's) built by people like that don't last - they can't, because the people in those R's are, at heart, really selfish. The day will come when the new friends have to choose between putting themselves first and being there for your W - and that won't be a happy day for W.

All of that crap she is going through is outside of your control - both the supposedly good and the obviously bad. I agree, someday she'll probably look back at all the things she "learned about herself" and won't be so smug about all of it.

In the meantime, stay strong and take care of yourself and your kids. Time and Patience - as always - are your allies. Hang in there, Mark!

Thanks for the input. It just got worse.

It seems that her boyfriend ran afoul of some governing body of his profession. Somebody sent him an email regarding this (not sure whether it was a threat to turn him in to his current employer, or what). Regardless, the wife is blaming me for sending it. Of course, I did no such thing. I tried to tell her on the phone that I didn't do it (don't even know what she was talking about). When I saw that I was getting nowhere with this, I ended the call.

Also, she said a couple times, "You are blowing a chance here." Thought but did not say: "A chance for what???"

I followed-up with terse email stating that I will not beg, and I will not plead... but for the final time, I did not send the email. I have neither the time nor the energy to concern myself with these kinds of things. I told her I am focused on myself and my kids and she is free to do whatever she wants, I don't care.

I have no idea whether the person signed my name, or they just jumped to the conclusion that I sent it. Don't know, don't care.

Thanks, but, please. Don't pray for me. Pray for my kids.

Mark,
First of all, do you even know his email address? It's unreal how they blame us for things that makes their lives "miserable" when we aren't guilty. They are guilty of making us miserable and never even stop to consider their "crimes". Our so-called crimes are so much worse. Oh the fog!

I have sent him two emails in the past, so yes, I have his personal and work email addresses.

And, yes yoyo.... it's amazing the $HIT she is dragging both of us into...

Hmmm...wonder if it has ever occured to them that there are other people out there who think he's not a very upstanding citizen? Surely, no one would think that about the "wonderful" OM.