Well overall it was a good weekeng w/kids. Sat night had a bondfire in backyard and made smores. jumped on tramp with them, my lower back still hurts today, but it was worth it. Sun Air Museum was interesting the kids enjoyed it. Picked up some supplies for a geco my d16 will be getting soon.
Even today when my mind catches up i cant get w and om out of my head. where? what? when? WHY?
Do you think it would be better if I suggested d first or make her do it since she is causing it?
D20 said they are camping (must be in a tent) and went for a hike yesterday.
Does she think that under the circumstances that the kids, her family, and friends will accept this guy in the furure? Comments i get it what the h*ll is she thinking.
I'm at work, so, i suppose i should get to work. talk to ya later.
Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
Would it be over because she ended it, or because you ended it? I don't think she's going to leave. From the pattern I see on this board, there are a lot of wives who really seem to enjoy the stability of the marriage plus the attention of the lover. They don't want to give either one up.
Since she's not working now, and you are having trouble making ends meet, it's time to tighten the belt on the budget. You need to only give her enough money to buy the groceries. Not enough to go see lovers on vacation. Contolling the purse gives you control of many things. Maybe you can't afford cell phones anymore. Give it some thought.
I honestly think she is going to end it when she returns. If she doesn't, i feel like i should. Not sure if i can. I think i need to do something to move on. Until we got a d we would be living in same house because of finances.
I'm so torn and scared. If she only knew or would be open to how i feel tward her.
I have suggested eliminating some monthly bills. They don't add up to much, she didn't want to.
I have to wonder if she is only with me for insurance until she finds work.
sorry for babbling i just got paged here at work
Light Switch
If she chooses to try it w/me she would have to prove it to me
Last edited by light switch; 09/25/0706:47 PM.
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I miss U guys and gals. I cant really keep up with everyones sitches. So i dont log on till im really down. not enough time in the day.
Update:
wife came home from her trip and wanted to try with me. Only cause one of her friends told her that i was thinking of ending it on her way home. I still slept in spare room. We went on couple dates just to eat.
At this point i could tell she was trying a little. Very busy with school, work, activities, etc. She started doing less and less. Then one night om calls home phone asking for her. I asked what he wanted several times, he said to speek with my w. So i gave her the phone. He may have called back I dont remember but he kind of appologized and said he wouldnt call home phone anymore, something like that, I didnt say anything.
Later i told her him or me. I wont be put back into her talking to him and acting like she may want me. She said its hard to quit talking to him. I asked in the week(s) after if she was comunicating with om, (email, phone, texting). She said no.
She didnt seem to be opening up to me. Nov 6 to 9th i had to go to Kansas for work. I spoke to her every day after work. she seemed ok but short to talk.
I got home a little earlier than expected. (She is working now at a business uptown, making little above min wage, she likes it accept the time off for holidays and the pay) She was at work and when i walked into the computer livingroom her instant messager was open with the web cam setup. I had tossed that thing behind the desk a long time ago.
When she got home she asked whats wrong. I said why dont u tell me and mentioned the computer.
She still says she doesnt want a d. I told her its pretty crappy to keep me around for a couple of holidays, if thats what she is doing. I told her that i will not be put back into that situation.
She hasnt lied about anything as far as i know up till now. I broke some DB rules and checked cell phone records. The day after i told her i wouldnt b put into this sitch again was d16s 17th bday, w took her and some friends to fargo mall and home for party in evining. Records say she spent a total of about 2hrs talking to om. I never said anything about that to her. This morning she left for work a half hour early. Records show a call right after she left house. At dinner (noon) i asked her if she had called to her sisters where inlaws are staying this morning. she said no. when she left for work i logged on to see if she made another call and she did.
Before i new this in some of our r talks she mentioned liking that i had been out gal-ing. that being the reason to try with me.
Now i dont know what to do. I basically gave her the ultamatum earlier and she has chose him and doesnt know i know she is speeking with him.
Could she b speeking to him as a friend? Yes but unlikly.
I was taking out the garbage in upstairs bathroom and dumped it into bag, what was on the bottom was now on top, she had ordered a jersey and wrapped it in b-day wrapping paper and sent it to him. I did tell her i found this.
Knowing what i know doesnt help me to ask her out on date and makes me realize thats why she isnt open to me in conversations.
I feel like i should step up my gal, witch hasnt been much lately.
I am making plans to go chop our own Christmas maybe tomarrow. Yes really chop it down myself. I've always wanted to do this. I think there is a place less than an hour away.
Our credit cards are almost maxed out. I did something I wouldnt normally do on Black Friday, I bought a 32" HDTV for $450. Im normally not like this but i figured she had a couple of vacations this year (with om) for alot more money than that. I also bought some gifts for her and kids.
Enough for now i have to go pick up son and cousin at bils house.
Any input would be appreciated!!
Door mat, Light Switch,
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I think you called earlier in your post....she is using you to get thru the holidays and then will probably dump you. Nothing has changed with the OM. She knows you know but doesn't think you have it in you will make a move.
She could be *thinking* she is just speaking to him as a friend, but we all know they could never go back to just being friends, ever again. This is a common argument (one used in my own house) and I think a pathetic one. Just another excuse to talk to the OP, and again hurt us a lot (that might not be intended, but they should know).
I know what you mean about the things you know actually preventing you from wanting to be around her. I know it says it takes awhile to kick the "OP habit", so I suppose if you want, you can wait and see if the contacts lessen or increase. You are being very strong, good job. I hope things get better.
