Do you think maybe he thinks he isn't being heard?
Hey trying...this is one of his chief complaints about our marriage. That he just existed, he was always 'overrode' about things, not heard, needs not met. I can see and understand some of this, but not all. However...I do just listen at this point. I don't take abuse, but I listen. Sometimes I say something like "Wow, I saw it this way, its amazing how two people can see things so differently. I am sorry you felt that way. I wish you would have told me then". Stuff like that.
We had a great holiday. H worked most of the time. Joined us for a bit at his family's, and it was nice. Had another quieter, less angry R talk last night, but still here we are. Oh and I peeked, tons of calls (unanswered) from a private number to H's cell phone yesterday. Guess she wanted to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving, but its hard when the wife isn't working...
We put up Christmas at our house today, pulled out all the stops. I, myself, started a fire in our fireplace. We made hot chocolate, decorated the tree, its been really nice.
That he just existed, he was always 'overrode' about things, not heard, needs not met.
Hey LWB, Hope today is going great for ya. It is about 75 here no clouds.... Life is good.
I had to comment though this is Exactly how I feel. It is really strange. The more people here are talking about how there spouses felt before the A.... Is how I feel now.
Kind if scary isn't it..
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
lwb - my next house will definately have a fireplace. I just love the ambiance.. I put up some of my x-mas decorations today as well. I really do love this time of year.
Husband - I know how you feel. I think a lot of us have probably had opporunities or yearnings to have an A (or just that connected feeling) but just don't have it in us to betray our spouses. That's the difference...
I don't think you understand. I had not desires or feeling like this in the past. I am also not saying I want to have an affair. What I am saying Is I NOW feel like what Our spouses have said they were feeling.
I have no support from my wife I have no intamacy for my wife My Wife does not Hear me when I talk. I am making plans without my Wife in mind. and now I have learned that I do not need my Wife.
Now I would prefure all of the above but even that is fading.
The only thing right now That I am putting above MY NEEDS is my son's. At onetime I would have set myself on fire for my Wife. Now if she asked me to it would be "ya right".
Now My son I still would and can prove it by staying in this sitch for soo long. I am putting my own happyness aside for my son. I am learning how to slip alittle Me happy time in between. It amaizes me that alot of people her comment on how strong I am for puttng up with wife. that is not how I look at it. I am strong for my son. but I am weak man when it comes to my wife. A real man would have stopped this crap when it first started. I have the OMAH Phone number. A real man would have called that day. A real man would not have begged his cheating wife for a chance to prove he was better that the OM who was cheating on his wife. Sorry I guess it was vent time. I am not putting myself down now. The above was the old me. I am stronger now and am getting stronger everyday. It is strange but I gave my word at the time that I would not contact the OM and I DO KEEP MY WORD. But........ I wish something would happen.Then all promises are off. I would find more Pictures. I wish somehow I would come into contact with the OM. Because this time my eyes are open. I will not be hit by a sucker punch. I am ready this time. Hey it may not sound like it but I am having a really good day. You can still have good day and still say your mind..
talk to ya all later I am on my way to work on my hot Rod (1965 mustang) bye Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
"Wow, I saw it this way, its amazing how two people can see things so differently. I am sorry you felt that way. I wish you would have told me then"
husband, I am sorry you feel this way now. I can tell you I am being honest when I say the above stuff to H. I never meant to do those things, and of course wouldn't want him hurting or feeling rejected.
I don't feel overridden now, I feel forgotten and unloved. Big time.
And listen here mister (look at me when I am talking to you! ), you are not weak, you love your wife. You saw her slipping away and didn't want that. You still love her, and hope for things to improve. A weaker man would have given up, even if it meant spending less time with his son. A weaker man would have left long ago. You are the strong one.
), you are not weak, you love your wife. You saw her slipping away and didn't want that. You still love her, and hope for things to improve. A weaker man would have given up, even if it meant spending less time with his son. A weaker man would have left long ago. You are the strong one.