I am glad you were able to get things off your chest. Because I firmly believe that you can't get to healing a marriage unless you communicate. I think you handled yourself well.
He did say he wants you back so that is good. But yet he still does sound confused. I had the same thing happen with my husband where he kept getting to my short comings. This angered me so much because here he was on dating sites doing who knows what in real life. He hurt me so it angered me that he wanted to point fingers at me. Now that we have been able to talk a little more. He wanted me to know he was hurting. He would say things but I would try to defend mysekf. This only made things worse because he felt like he wasn't being heard. You know he had told me to that were signs he was unhappy. You know now that I look back at it I can see. But I was so busy in life I didn't notice.
Do you think maybe he thinks he isn't being heard? It sounds like he is trying to communicate how bad he was hurting or things that bothered him. Not saying these things were your fault. Or that you were to blame for his actions. Because he was wrong! But it just sounds like this is important for him. I finally was able to get past this with my husband. I would say things like well honey I am sorry you felt that way but I really meant for this to be like sorry if it came across that way. We were able to communicate better that way.
Also noticed that you said OW isn't waering her rings. That may not be a good sign at all.
This is so confusing when you are in this situation. It's so hard to know the right thing from the wrong thing. But it seems if you gys are so distant and not able to be around each other much. Then with things not being sexual, it is maybe making him need her more, need someone. Which isn't right at all. He should just be able to be faithful. But maybe with the state he is in right now. I just know I never knew how badly my husband was hurting. How badly he needed things from me that I wasn't giving.
