I have a legal sep. agreement; have had it over a year. It was such a mindeaser for me. As the crisis went on, my H became more difficult and I needed to protect myself. Since it's been over a year, in my state either of us could file for a noncontested D now if we wanted to.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
I have a legal sep...you never know what the other might do without your knowing...like take out credit for example...in community property states that makes you responsible also...even if the other intends on paying the debt what happens if they are out of work...get injured...or worse???...then you are stuck with the debt that you may have not even known about....
It was a good thing I got it too...my H took out all kinds of loans/credit...insisting that he was going to be able to pay it all off once his business got up and running...well guess what!!!...you got it...it didn't work out...and now HE has $120,000 in debts that HE will have to file bankruptcy on...NOT ME because I had the legal sep. in place....
I just feel when your not together you really really don't know what the other is doing...so for your own piece of mind it is a good idea...
Thanks, Hope and Lin. I keep thinking that as this goes along, maybe we need to make this legal. So far, the two of us are able to talk and trust - maybe stupidly so - but I think that after the holidays, things might get more complicated.
I tried asking H today if he thought we should do this, and he got tense. He says he promised to not do anything legal for a year and this question seemed a mixed message to him (a year will be in January, so that's when I think things might get complicated). So was asking a 180 or trouble? I don't know. I backed off, though, and I hope I was wise about that. We are going together in the next weeks to talk to a financial advisor about how to deal with our debt sitch; maybe there will be some more insight then...
We are working together and communicating better now that we are separated and in IC - and I think since I told him I agreed that our old M is over - than we have for years. I just hope that he will continue to not push for the D so that maybe we can weather this and begin to rebuild or build a new R & M.
The sun's shining, and even though it's cold, the day feels ok.
You don't need his permission to get a LS...and really he doesn't need to know you filed until "his year" is here...you can play your card then or let it go...but if it is in place and ready to be filed you can protect yourself...
I would definitely make sure I was protected...especially with kids involved and if you have any real property...and even more so with debts!
