Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

(((HUGS))) sue, try to eat. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. and I know how hard it is not to obsess over their moods/actions/etc. Everyone keeps telling me to focus on myself, and I know that is what I should do, but it doesn't make it any easier, even now.

baby steps. keep working toward it. and take care of yourself.

SueS,

You have full permission from everyone here to take yourself home, snuggle under a duvet (you can forgo the black nightie this time - LOL) and drink lots of hot chocolate.

When you ill, everything looks worse and pampering yourself will certainly help.

Use the word 'ignore' a lot - ignore the snipes, ignore the moods - works on children!!

Hi everyone-

Thanks for checking on me. I didn't even turn on the computer at home yesterday and was way to busy at work too. The holidays really amp up the work load for me.

Quiet around home. D3 has been feeling better, but still has a cold. Me, not so good. I felt better last night, but woke up feeling horrible. Trying to eat a little, but I'm just not hungry.

Let's see, where did I leave off. H has been quiet, but been around home. I called yesterday morning to check on D3, but there was no answer. H called me after he got to work. He was short with me at first, but then loosened up. We just talked for a minute. I thanked him for staying home with her Tues. morning & helping me to get her to bed on Tues. night. Not much reaction, but at least I didn't get a "whatever".

Got home to find a note from H saying that he'd do kitchen cleaning duty when he got home. I responded by writing Thank You on it. I had a busy night with D3's bath, trying to get her to bed early...etc. and we didn't call H. He got home around 9:30 and I believe left to work out almost right away. I just tried to get some sleep. H was up late though, as I heard him when I went to check on D3 (she was crying).

Not much else going on. Just tired and not feeling well.

Good morning Sue, hope you feel better soon. Its a killer on our PMA, isn't it??

Rob-

Goals for today.....

-Take care of myself physically. I've been sick and I'm really worn down. I'm hungry, but not feeling like eating.

-Spend QT with D3. I miss her when we're apart and for some reason just have some big time tears today thinking of her.

-Get myself caught up (as much as possible) here at work.

I know I still have a weekend to get through and next weekend is going to be tough (out of town without H), but I'm determined to go to my parents for Thanksgiving, spend time with my family and come back refreshed with a new prespective. Hard, but I have to because for some reason, the past few weeks, this is just killing me.

SueS

Hi Sue,

That's more like it! I know it's tough, but please give this a try for a while, working on good "just for today, just for Sue" goals. The longer you keep at it, the easier it will become. I promise!

REALLY hope you feel better soon! ((Hugs!!))

Hey Sue,

just remember ...

Just what makes that little old ant
Think hell move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, cant
Move a rubber tree plant

But hes got high hopes, hes got high hopes
Hes got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your gettin low
stead of lettin go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

When troubles call, and your backs to the wall
There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram
Thought hed punch a hole in a dam
No one could make that ram, scram
He kept buttin that dam

cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes
He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your feelin bad
stead of feelin sad
Just remember that ram
Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam

All problems just a toy balloon
Theyll be bursted soon
Theyre just bound to go pop
Oops there goes another problem kerplop


Smile

husband

Good evening!

Husband...Thanks for the pick me up. I'll have to keep that song in my head!!

Rob-

So, I ate (take care of my self physically), got some things caught up at work & bought a new computer game for D3, which we played tonight. I also spent some time after D3 went to bed, just relaxing watching a live webcast of my niece in her opening round of the South Dakota state volleyball tournament. I can't be there, so that was the next best thing. They won too!

H called me at work late afternoon just to check to see if daycare called. Funny that he called, as he knows darn well I'd call him if they needed me to pick her up for being sick. However, it's now almost 45 minutes past his typical time to get home. I guess I'll just go to bed and try to get some rest. If I call him, he'll just be pissed and stay out later. Not much I can do right now. I'm sure he thinks I'm sleeping anyway.

D3 has been really testing me lately. She doesn't want to go to bed by herself, as she used to. I've raised my voice a time or two, which makes me feel horrible after the fact. She's sleeping now and looks like an angel.

I got incredibly sad tonight to the point where I kept hearing myself say....I can't do this anymore. I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping well, this is killing me. Then I got angry. That's where I'm at right now is angry again. But, tomorrow is another day of goals to set and hopefully sunny skies. I'll be thinking of that song husband sent.

Have a good night.

SueS

Sues,

Don't worry about things you can not change. Just go one day at a time. It's really hard to believe that about every 5 minutes our relationship with our spouses crosses our mind and it does not seem to ever cross there mind. But deep down I think it is. They may be acting like "monsters" but they are human. You know deep down inside it has to be bothering them also.
Hey plays some music. Not the old they left me now I am all alone type. Some happy mood elevating music. That helps me.
Also venting helps. If you keep it in your head then you will replay it over and over. If you have nobody to talk to. (Like me) then e-mail one of us. (manuelm1@comcast.net).or just rambles on here. It does help to get it out and then it kind of puts it to rest. Also sometimes when someone else hears what you are thinking they can point out a different point of view and it does not seem so bad.
Take care, Smile, Enjoy the day. Just remember everyday that passes is one day closer to the conclusion
H

SueS,

husband has my email as well so you are welcome to have a British view of life (I will try to keep it understandable) LOL.

husband is very right, you can only change the things that you control i.e. yourself, so be selfish and make sure No.1 is OK (D3 will fit into this neatly).

You sound down at the moment and everything is twice as black when you are there, so thing of some cheerful songs; the muppets 'Manamana'
Manamana