Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Long road Time now to bring OM into the Picture

Soul,
You have my sympathies about last night. It's hard to function when they're up to their antics. The hurt, the pain and the anxiety are awful. No, she has no idea the pain she is putting you through. She is only thinking of herself. And you're absolutely right, she is trying to fill a void with OM, but it's a fantasy.

When or if you do confront her, remember not to beg or plead. She's going to be pretty p.o.'d and will justify everything she's doing. Remember to keep it cool. It would not be a time to talk about a possible reconciliation.

After that talk, I would concentrate on DB, set some goals for GAL and see how that goes. It's time to take care of yourself.

How was the son's t-ball game? That's a great age.

Joie

Thanks the T-ball was fun I probally like it more than my son. Had a really busy day was able to keep my mind off of things somewhat. W called a few times while I was out and I didn't call back. We have been separated for 3 months and she still talks to me everyday shes pretty much having her cake and eating it. I am going to start making myself much more unavaliable. Well I guess I will have to wait until after our 4 day Thanksgiving trip. I need to pick myself up for this trip the way I feel now is that I don't even want to go on it with her, but instead take the kids myself.

Of course it is killing me thinking of all the things she may be doing. She is sick so that could be a good thing. Well who really knows what she is doing and it would do me not good to know.

Of course she doesn't know the pain she is putting you through. She thinks you don't know about OM. She thinks she is so clever, and you don't even suspect. So until you confront her, this thing is off to the races. Once you expose it to daylight it loses some of its luster. But for now, it is the most exciting thing that could possibly be, and you are the built in babysitter.

Post deleted by Jamesjohn

ignore him.

I know OM is not married, but don't know much else seems like the player kind of guy like 7 years younger than her.

Since we are separated she thinks it is ok what she is doing she even admits to talking with him, but will not admit to any more. If I call her out she will probally admit to it and just say we are separated and there is nothing wrong with it after all she said she wanted to see others. I guess the thing about it that has me wondering is why she still lies and trys to cover it up. Who knows.

She may think its ok, but you have to remember that its not ok. Its adultery. Its horrible. Deep down, she knows it but these WAS love to twist history and justify what they are doing. Remember: adultery. Separated? Yes. Still legally married? Yes. Adultery = wrong.

But...I think how you handle it depends on what you want from the situation. I knew about H's A before he confessed, its horrible. I didn't sleep more than 20 minutes at a time for quite awhile. I feel for you.

I think its good you are getting your head together before you decide what you are going to do. Take care.

Thanks lwb, She seems to have a quick answer for everything I say she is quick like that and I am not so much. If I told her we are still leagally married she would say that is only because we can't sell the house right now (Sometimes I don't think this is completely true). No I don't think it is ok, but in her mind she has moved on.

I want to say something to the effect that I know you spent the weekend with OM. I am upset that you could put this effort into someone else but no us and our family. She puts all this effort into looking good and flirting I would like to know why you never did that with me. I don't know what I expect to get out of this, but if nothing else I want her to know that I am not stupid and I know what she is doing.

Soul Mate -

I am just curious what your opinion is of single guys that meet and startup affairs with married women.

For me, I see them as scum that have no honor among real men. The are predators that are taking advantage of the WAW's emotional state.

I cant put all the blame on them as the WAW is to blame also.

I agree with you they really are taking advantage of a situation and really lack morales. On the otherhand a lot of them may not understand what damage they are doing as they probally have never been in our shoes. Again like you said the WAW is of equal balme if not more.