I asked my H last night about the significance of Dec. 15 - the date the OW stated in the email. He said that was the night of the Holiday party for my work last year. Ironically, it's where the pix of us was taken on my MySpace page. The affair was at a nice hotel and we got a room for the night.
I really wanted to have nice, romantic night. It had been a long time since we had one. But H got so drunk that he could not perform - at least that's what I thought at the time. He was 6 months in the A at that point so I think now that the performance issue and the drinking were because of that. We had a miserable night. I have since found out that he blamed it all on me. Told the OW all about it...
I asked him why she sent the email, what did she hope to accomplish? He said she is afraid of us having a nice night together. I said, well, she's too late, we've had many nice nights together the last couple of months. He agreed.
But one positive thing that came to me about this email that I didn't think of before ... at least it means he has not committed to her either.
I hope every one has a happy DB week! Hmmm ... 42 days to Christmas! I don't even want to think about that.
Joie, She is digging her own grave. What did your H say about her e-mailing you. My H would flip out on ow if she e-mailed me and caused a bunch of drama. I can't beleive that your H would stand for it either.
What did he say ... he was very put-out by it, and not happy at all. In fact, he caught OW in a lie about it, which is how he found out. Of course, he would have found out about it through me anything when I saw the email. (He thought it was funny that he caught her in a lie.)
He said Thursday night they had a bad argument. I didn't get the specifics but she must have been pressuring him for a decision. She'd been drinking, which is why she sent the email.
She called him Friday morning, and said she needed the receipt and that it was in his van. She was polite, but then hung up on him. He looked for it but didn't see it at that time. So he called back to let her know he couldn't find it. She then stated that I must have found it. He wanted to know why I would have it. That's when she admitted she sent the email. She swears she was not in his truck that night but he says it's the only way the receipt could have gotten where it was (he did find it).
Again, he was not happy about it. He said she was making threats (about letting me know stuff) and he didn't like that. He then said something which totally pizzed me off - he told her that was "no way to build a relationship."
We didn't talk too much more about it. Between the knowledge that he had slept with her again, and the this is "no way to build a relationship" comment, I was done! He knew I was really angry, and hurt. I told him the fact that he could be considering living with such a person, over me, was enough to make me walk away. Talk about a slap in the face.
He did apologize, and seemed regretful. After I gave him my piece of mind, he sort of sulked for the rest of the weekend. But he wasn't so pizzed at her that it didn't stop him from seeing her the next day! But I really think he is just trying to keep things civil with her because he has to ... I think.
Since then, things have been quiet. He left his phones out last night and they never even rang.
I sure hope you're right that she is digging her own grave. I think so, too, but I'm not betting on it until I see firm evidence that he is off the fence and the fog is entirely dissipated.
On the way home we got more serious with Papa Roach, Hinder, Buckcherry.
Hey Joie, Papa Roach does my current favorite song...
Forever
In the brightest hour Of my darkest day I realized What is wrong with me
Can't get over you Can't get through to you It's been a helter-skelter, romance from the start
Sorry to hear how helter-skelter things have been for you recently. It does sound though like you H really must be tiring of these antics. The fog must be really thick for him to not see what a bad choice he's making.
Thanks, Bob. My sitch is a real mess, huh? Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder why I'm sticking it out. Guess we all have those up and down moods.
I know others, like LWB and LovelyOlive, have been sticking things out longer than I. (Actually, I'll give a call out to just everyone on this board!) I don't know how they have done it -- I can't see myself doing this for months!
Hey, guys ... I was nominated for an end of the year award at work! The company I work for pushes 4 values. At the end of the year, employees nominate folks for each category, then it's narrowed down to 3 for each. I was nominated for RESPECT! I have yet to tell my H. Perhaps I could give him some lessons!!
I wasn't going to go to our winter gala this year. Just bad memories from last year (A was going on and I didn't know it). But I'm encouraged to go because they will announce the winners that night.
It's been a tough week, so hat's off to the big man upstairs for this! It will be nice to win, but even nicer that a couple of my coworkers put my name in to start with.
I wasn't going to go to our winter gala this year. Just bad memories from last year (A was going on and I didn't know it). But I'm encouraged to go because they will announce the winners that night.
Why wouldyou LET "Them" as in your husband and HER take this away from you? Don't do this to yourself.
Take back YOUR life.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I don't know how I have stuck it out this long. Mark said to me one time (hope he doesn't mind) when I asked him how he does this for so long, and he said "I'm in no hurry to get a divorce, nor am I am in a hurry to reconcile". Makes total sense. I guess we are kind of fence sitters too, huh? Hang in there!
