Well jarhead your right. Guess who texted me today?? Well she texted me today and asked if I was going to sign the papers once she files them, I told her to file away. She said that she will more than likely not go to Denver which really sucks because I really want her to go....I stuck to my guns tho and I said well let me know if I need to find someone..she said okay... How can I play this off where I dont seem like I care if she goes but I really want her to go??
Unfortunately, the only way to feel that way is to actually believe it.
You can't make her want to go.. I would begin the process of finding someone else who might want to go. This will do several things:
1. Keep your mind off of her where it should be. 2. Boost you PMA 3. Prepare you for the worst 4. Show her that you are serious about moving on
As for the ring.. that is a personal decision for you to make. I took mine off. I'm prepared to move on. It's just where I am. By wearing the ring, you are telling others you are still married and not available.
Is that how you feel?
If so, then keep it on.
If not.. take it off.
Mine is, ironically, in the set of wine goblets that her father gave us for our wedding.
Unfortunately, the only way to feel that way is to actually believe it.
You can't make her want to go.. I would begin the process of finding someone else who might want to go. This will do several things:
1. Keep your mind off of her where it should be. 2. Boost you PMA 3. Prepare you for the worst 4. Show her that you are serious about moving on
As for the ring.. that is a personal decision for you to make. I took mine off. I'm prepared to move on. It's just where I am. By wearing the ring, you are telling others you are still married and not available.
Is that how you feel?
If so, then keep it on.
If not.. take it off.
Mine is, ironically, in the set of wine goblets that her father gave us for our wedding.
Yeah, I know I cant make her go. I am just worried about not being able to find someone go with me and then taking a loss on all the money we spent for everything. But I will try to find someone but If I cant, I hope she can go.
My mind is off of her for the most part, I do catch myself thinking about her, i bet that is normal. My PMA is on the rise. I am prepairing for the worst right now and I am ready to move on. The biggest thing I am dealing with is the ring. Leave it on, take it off. If I take it off, I think that I gave up and that's it but then again maybe I have to take it off to find myself again. I am leaning on taking it off but I just cant right now...
You shouldn't take it off until you are ready. Which you may not be for a while.
Key here is.. do what YOU feel is right for YOU.
Thats the thing...I dont know if I am ready. I mean when I take it off to shower im okay but when I get out and put it back on, I think of her and what the ring meant...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with remembering what the ring means, just don't dwell on it beating yourself up because of the situation you're in.
Jar is right. It doesn't sound like you're ready to go without the ring. However, if you feel that its symbolism is a barrier to you moving forward, then consider carrying it in your pocket or just go cold-turkey.
As for Denver, I hope that you really will look for someone else to go and, if you don't find someone, it's no big deal. Don't ask her again though - she knows you want her to go. Find someone to take her place or go alone. Either way this will help with your healing.
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
There is absolutely nothing wrong with remembering what the ring means, just don't dwell on it beating yourself up because of the situation you're in.
Jar is right. It doesn't sound like you're ready to go without the ring. However, if you feel that its symbolism is a barrier to you moving forward, then consider carrying it in your pocket or just go cold-turkey.
As for Denver, I hope that you really will look for someone else to go and, if you don't find someone, it's no big deal. Don't ask her again though - she knows you want her to go. Find someone to take her place or go alone. Either way this will help with your healing.
I may try keeping it in my pocket for a while. To me the ring meant something, but to her the ring was just a ring..that is what she told me. She told me to start looking for someone to go to Denver in case she cant get the time off. I have started asking but so far no luck but I will keep looking.
Okay so the other day when we talked or when she came clean, I told her that I would make a deal with her if she went to denver...but I dont have a deal and dont know why I said that. She has sent me two text messages asking what the deal is..I am trying to go dark so I have not responded. Should I keep doing this?? I think I was going to ask her that if she went I would not fight her on the divorce. I want everyone to know what she did and that it was her fault and not that we just have differences. I would just let it go if she went to Denver with me but I dont want to make her mad and I want a relationship with her after the D, if that is possible...
MWEL,, NO DEAL....You need to decide but doing this is begging. Not to mention like you if my marriage fails I too want EVERYONE to know what happened. (may even take an ad out in the local paper)
It was we just have differences. I stayed loyal she did NOT.
you make your own desision but I think I would drop the "deal" issue.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
MWEL,, NO DEAL....You need to decide but doing this is begging. Not to mention like you if my marriage fails I too want EVERYONE to know what happened. (may even take an ad out in the local paper)
It was we just have differences. I stayed loyal she did NOT.
you make your own desision but I think I would drop the "deal" issue.
Husband
yeah see that is why I havent answered her text because I dont know what I was thinking...just a heat of the moment thing..I have not told her this nor do I plan on it. Should I continue to stay dark? Not answering her calls or texts?
