Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? How to tell co-workers your separated - advice?

yea, it never fails, a busy body wanting to know more. "we are separated for the time being " should suffice everyone, but when you find yourself accosted with nosey questions ("but why?" "oh no, what happened?" etc) you can say "we are going through some issues, but enough about me, how are you doing (or insert a question about the latest football/basketball game).

At work, only 3 people knew, one was a very good friend who helped me lots, I had to tell the HR because I had to change something on my payroll or such, and my supervisor since I had to go to C during the day sometimes, I didn't give him any details, other than I was separated and would be asking a few hrs off here and there for C, and that was enough.

Shell
Looks like you will find out who you can depend on and who not. You are in tough times. Be gracious to all.

I had a friend who was nice to a pregnant coworker. We were in a training program in a factory and all he was doing was being a gentleman. Period. The scuttlebutt was he got her pregnant. Since he was my friend I asked him direct and told him what was going on. He was clipped and tested previously and it was dry. Her husband was clipped leaked little guys.

Anyway those rumors were squashed but the moral of the story is they can destroy lives even if not true. People who pass them are not to be trusted with any personal info. Thus I would answer questions with questions of your own. (like who was Milton Fillmore's vice President?)

If you cannot dazzle them the baffle them.

I have only told two co-workers about my separation.
Just have no desire to tell anyone else.
I'm sure those two have kind of let everyone else anyway.
I don't mind that, because they don't put their noses in.
Ironic thing is, one of my co-workers is in a similar position.
How do I know that?
One of the two I confided in told me.
So I'm absolutely sure they know about me.

Maybe I am holding on to false hope that things will change more quickly than they actually will, but I haven't told my side of the family yet (two months separated).
Embarrassment? Shame? Probably both.
Unfortunately W knows this.
I'm sure she wouldn't tell them out of spite, but the day is getting closer that I do have to say something....at least to one of my brothers.
That could be a good thing, because I can show W that I'm ready to accept things and move on....or at least appear that way.

Thanks to all that have responded.

I do not want to provide details. I think my response will be simply "We are separated, my wife is dealing with some deep personal issues that have impacted the marriage."

That gives them something but nothing really. I don't think people will ask what the issues are. But if they do I can say because they are very personal in nature, I would prefer not to discuss.

Also the statement is not a lie as my wife is in MLC.

Great answer, I am definitely borrowing that if it comes up... I'm thinking I just won't go to this years xmas party... I just don't want to deal with the gossip, if I go solo... still holding out that maybe H will want to go as a date... I was REALLY looking forward to going this year too... it will be at an awesome steak house

lj14

Unfortunately I too will be skipping my Xmas party for the same reasons.