Because he has you to take care of it for him......
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
H is away with his sister for like a week??? the person he didn't associate with in any way for like 25 yrs? this makes no sense at all for suddenly he spends more time with her on vacations than his own kids.
He thanked me for taking care of the ins. bill in one email
then in another he tells me he made a copy of application for d and pd s's ER bill of $1800. I wasn't going to pay it. he told me he was going away with his sister and to let me know what I NEEDED for alimony and to call him next week.
well... darn forgot to reply... made no attempt to respond and weel have no desire to even talk to him. I am dead set on the alimony and if he doesn't like it ... court we shall go....
funny feeling I have lately for I have had so much thrown at me my only Uncle the one who gave me away at my wedding is in the ICU still 3 wks with a brain hemorrhage, I need a new furnace, the hot water heater started leaking last wk and the bathtub faucet is leaking like a waterfall.
on top of all of that it was 25 yrs ago today my dad died and well I am sad and yet there is nothing I can do about it. he is gone and nothing is going to bring him back all I have are memories. Sort of just like H, he is gone and nothing is going to bring him back.
just having a sad night tonight
Last edited by heartbreak2; 11/13/0703:59 AM.
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
I saw H last night for the first time in a month. He looked tired, aged had on jeans and have not seen him wear jeans in a long time.
I had to go to mall kids came with me and S called H for he lives near there. He met him at the bookstore and I was just getting ready to leave when there he was walking down the aisle towards me.
He talked about work and d and himself. Not once asked about my uncle who is in the ICU
this was the first civil not D conversation in 4 months.
this morning my dog died suddenly. I believe he was in heart failure and I was taking him to the vet as soon as they opened and he laid down by my bed and I sat on the floor next to him and he got quiet and died. Like he knew that I could not handle taking him to the vet and having to make the decision. He made it for me. my s was home but my d was at a friends. she did not get home in time and was so upset for she did not believe my txt msg and hr earlier that he was very sick and she needed to come home.
she called h and was crying and woke him up and she pulled herself together and he asked her.. are you joking? she told me this tonight.
he showed up and was compassionate and kind towards me for he did not like this dog for it was my golden that I got when I realized having more kids was not a good idea. so he was my baby.
he made the phone calls for the arrangements and stayed and when I was sitting with chess he came in and laid on the bed and talked to me while I sat on the floor with the dog.
he was making no effort to leave so i made him breakfast and his phone rang and he ignored it. but left as soon as he ate. he hugged me several times and let me hug him and held me before he left and told me he wants to be there at times like this and if we need him. he wants to be a part of things like this. wants to be able to talk to me but does not want me to take this that he wants to come back.
so...he left and I have a knot in my stomach it has been all day and the pain will not go away I thanked him and while he was here I didn't cry that much and I was stronger than I thought I could ever be. tonight I am still numb.
part of me wants him to wake up for it is a yr this wk since he asked to come home and stayed for 8 days. it is 18 mon since he left.
d and him had a huge fight on fri. over ticket to a concert that I was going to with the kids and he was going to also. she told him to grow up and stop being so immature we are going to see the singer not ea other.
he did call me and tell me that he realized we need to talk and that we can both go and it would be ok.
now he was in vegas with his sister>? for a long wkend. this is so odd for he is going to disney with her and ow in 2 wks. I wonder if he had a trip with ow planned and she is out of hte picture? not sure why his sister would fly here and then to vegas. ok I am dreaming
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
I am so very sorry about your dog. How are you doing? I am glad your H was kind enough to help with arrangements. Our animal friends are so wonderful and I am sure you loved yours like another child. I just wanted to offer support today; that was a touching post. Yes, he made the decision for you. I am glad you were home with him when it happened.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
thank you so much for the support. I am ok have teary times but not as bad as I imagined it might be. He was my baby and I miss him so much.
H emailed today and I am so confused..... then he called when I was out and left a msg telling me he is sorry and that he is not sure what to say and that he knows how much I am in pain.
Not sure what to say to him right now the email is so weird I sent him and email on sunday and all it said was thank you nothing else. I didn't know what else to say to him
------------- You're welcome. I am sorry for your loss of C. I know how important he was to you. I saw over the years how much you loved him, and he loved you unconditionally. I was probably jealous, bit did not have that unconditional love for you as he did. He deserved it. I have tried to find balance in my life. I do care about you. It was clear when I saw you kiss C goodbye Sat. morning. I'm sorry you're in pain.I have come to realize that the reasons I would try to live with you again are to lessen guilt and to be around the kids more. Please allow me to find that balance. I need to complete the divorce and to do that I need you to agree to terms, including alimony. I want to continue to communicate with you without animosity or fear, and truthfully, about the kids and how we are each doing individually. I hope we get to the point where we can become ex-spouses who have remained friends. I want to remain a part of the "kids" lives, as much as they need me and allow. Thank you. Have a good day, H.
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Hb2 im sooo sorry for the loss of Chess. have you heard of rainbow bridge? a magical pace where our cherished pets wait for us to join us into heaven. i get much peace from this. my heart truely goes out to do.
as for your H last fall i was getting that same i want to be there speech. guilt appeasement.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
N2M thank you I have read the rainbow bridge poem and I know he is in a better place and no longer has to take meds twice a day and is with my other golden and the kitty he use to love so much.
my sons little dog suddenly has been my shadow she is a princess dog part sheltie and bordercollie and well.. she spent the day outside with me today followed me all over the place. It was to weird she has never done that before. She does not leave the yard so I did not have to worry about her and just went about my raking etc. right now she is on my bed fast asleep totally worn out for she is 13 yrs old.
H called today wanted to go to lunch ... I said NO. I knew he wanted to talk settlement and I had things I needed to get done like bake pies. He was a little annoyed but then got really annoyed for d heard him on the phone the machine had picked up. She came in and started yelling at me that he can't come for dinner etc. She had a fit today for she wanted to get me a puppy for Christmas and I do not want one. I told H who was helping her that I did not want one and he said he understood.
I am the meanest person in the world today and she hates me. She sent me an email that tore my up one side and down the other and well. I decided it is time her father hears what she is saying and I sent it to him.
when he was on the phone this am h made a comment about her not wanting him here. I told him that we are no longer a family and we are not ever going to be again. He said in a stern voice "i am her father" I said yes you are and I am her mother but we are not a family any more. This is the way it is going to be.
so not sure what is going to happen tomorrow.
my head is spinning tonight. I just want to crawl in bed and hide from the world.
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
HB2 I lost track of you when I lost my internet for a month but I'm gradually catching up with people again.
I'm so sorry about your dog. I can truely empathise about your D because my D17 used to be exactly like this before H left. Now it is my S15 that I have all these types of probs with.
It sounds to me like your H is one very confused guy. I wish I could say the same about my H. He clearly knows what he wants and hasn't deviated from it since the day he left (which is 2yrs today).
Take care
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
