Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again What is reasonable and what is not?

Thanks for replying Jak....

Well, he got home last night and was awesome. He was so happy to see me, ILY, I missed you, spent the night, brought me and the kids presents. It was great. I was so relieved.

I haven't seen any calls to OW, but I won't know for sure until his cel bill comes out in a few weeks. I know he hasn't text'd her as the numbers haven't changed and she is the only one that is out of his network so they show up.

Last night I had to go pick him up at his buddies house when he got home. I went a bit early to get his truck and as I got to his house it was dark and I parked my car across the street and walked to his driveway. Just as I was doing that OW drove by with her mom who lives down the street!!! She slowed down and saw me and then kept going. I just stared at her in disbelief. I switched vehicles and as I was leaving I caught up to her at the light and ended up right behind her in exh's truck for about 10 minutes. I loved it.

So things are good. I hope they stay that way.

It's funny that she saw you. It makes her aware that you two are still seeing each other since you had his truck. Im'e glad that there haven't been any text msg's so far also. Just keep doing 180's and working on you not so much of what he is doing.

JAK

Thanks Jak....Its so strange how I trusted this man a couple of years ago with my and my kids life. Now, how things have changed. We are both so different. I used to never worry what he was doing or who he was talking to. What a difference a year makes.

BTW, what do you think about my post a few above about the 'well meaning' friends that are always the voice of doom and gloom? I totally understand what exdh did for an entire year was horrible and by alot of others standards unforgiveable, but to constantly look for the bad just drives me crazy.

What i would do in that instance is to tell your friends that you need them to vent or talk to but that you would like them to just listen as a good friend and, if they felt the need to contribute their thoughts in a negative way then you would rather not discuss it with them.

I meant to post to that but things have been crazy with me latley and can't remember what i did or didn't do one minute to the next.

How are things today?

JAK

Things are still great. Makes me wonder what is up? Why can't I just go with it and enjoy it all?

I went over to his house and had dinner with him and his girls. I wasn't planning on it as usually when he has his kids he wants alone time and I am not included.

Maybe its baby steps. I have no idea. I am petrified to relax too much and be devastated and back to square one again.

BE aware of things but you also have to go with it and act as if.

JAK

Hey SO2.

Wow, we are in an oddly similar situation. Only, I've already had the kid...my xh left halfway through my (planned) pregnancy.

No advice ATM, just stopping in to offer hugs.

Thank you....I feel like I am in such an odd situation. He is over the top ready and wanting this baby. We were oddly divorced before she was even concieved so its all backwards.

I hate anxiety.

Tell me if you would be irritated and left wondering after this.

His daughter(1) wanted a friend to spend the night. He said last night that the two girls and he would spend the night at our house as it was bigger. Ok, fun. The other daughter(2) usually goes to a friends house.

Tonight he tells me that the other daughter(2) and her friends are going to stay at his house and I could have the daughter (1) and her friend at my house. Well, that kind of bugged me. But oh well.

Now he just calls and says that daughter (2) is now staying at a friends house. I said ok, well then are you coming here to be with daughter (1). No, he wants to stay home. WAT! I made a comment like I was shocked. Why is he staying home all alone and I have his daughter and friend?

My mind starts working. Is that so he can talk to or see OW? I know he is not real patient with the kids especially if they have friends, but I am not going to babysit while he sits home alone.

I guess he is coming here, but I can tell he really didn't want to. How are we ever going to truly reconcile if he wants to live in his own house without his family?

UGGHH....I just need to post here or I will end up saying or doing something because I am irritated.

I just feel like I want to tell him off right now. So much pent up anger and anxiety that I have had to hide under a smile and GAL.

I want to tell him I am sick of trying so hard. He left, he screwed up, he filed for divorce...he should be begging me to come back. Instead I feel like I am doing all the work and there is no guarantee he will ever come back. Even when our daughter is born. He may just like this coming in and out when he feels like it and being a dad just when he feels like it.

I needed to post and hopefully someone will respond and tell me to calm down before I say something I will regret.