[/quote] My MIL told me that I had held a grudge for him on his first A and didn't allow us to get better. Who knows!!! My FIL has cheated on her all their married life and she stayed and turned in to a cold woman. She is not a Happy person either. It must run in their family. [quote]
Penny that is where your H is getting all of his issues from i feel.
Sorry about where you are at this point. All you can do now is take for you and your boys and let H go thru this by himself.
It certainly sounds like MLC and maybe when he doesn't have you to fall back on and take care of things he'll see that he was screwed up. Right now it is time for you to live for you.
Matilda is right get a lawyer. Let them go thru and figure things out.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Things are going OK..I have more a calm attitude this week last week was a high Anxiety week. Sunday H and I had that long talk and I think I figured out. Till he faces somethings that happened someswhere in his life maybe even before me He has to hold it against someone. Ususally its the one that has supported you and stood by you the most. He thinks in his mind that if he starts new he can get over everything. He tries to fix everything himself. I have finally realized there is nothing I can do but give him his freedom. You know how they said the more you cling the worse it gets. He told me that is what happened to us. If I had found DB earlier maybe it would have been different. But the harder I tried the worse it got. So I have finally realized that I can't change the past or correct it. I can just move ahead. Maybe later we can work things out maybe not. Right now she is the new exciting thing. He did tell me that she had made the same mistakes he had and they had that incommon. He said she isn't even near the person I am and she isn't very smart. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. He said he just doesn't have the past that we have and all the stuff that builds in a 25 yr marriage. Anyway I have to take care of me and move on. YoYO, Your right my MIL and FIL have quite a life. They have been good to me we have had our disagreements. I have finally learned to stand up to them and not feel bad. I have to do business with them and I run the business so we do disagree once in awhile. They do not agree what H is doing and they hate the OW family and her. I don't believe she will be to welcome for a while. time will tell. Everyone always weaks in time.
Jak and Mat,
Are you sorry you asked how I am. I am moving forward. I'm sure I will have bad days. He calls and visits about the boys and business and ask me my opinion on different things he is doing. When he left Saturday and Sunday he held me and gave long hugs and kissed me good by. He had tears in his eyes once. Time will tell. But I have spent a long time waiting for him to change his mind. IT is something I have to face and realize he does care but just can't live with me. So I have to move on and try to have a life for me. Is that selfish?????
Its amazing that he can still call for advice and he needed the telephone number to get a dentist appointment. He knows I have the insuraance for his dentist appointments. I had to giggle because little by little he has to handle different stuff. I am just going along and no pressure. I had found him a trailer that would be a great upgrade for him the other day. He bought it today and will sell his old one. Which is ok but he had to call about the financing. I am letting him handle it. He called and asked if I wanted to go to breakfast in the morning so he could pick up the right ck book to pay for his trailer. So as he goes and stays the night with her and comes and takes me to breakfast the drama continues without me showing any emotion. DB at my best... I bet he doesn't tell her that he spent sat. morning, Sunday doing books with me and then breakfast. I know if she knew s*^t would hit the fan. Only amount of time and she will explode. It will be interesting. Have a good night.
Penny, Hey that sounds good, make the best of your time with him. Let him see what an attractive and smart woman he is giving up. Yeah, I know all about our husbands calling when they have a medical problem. Mine called me one time to see what he should take for an upset stomach!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
It makes you think how did they get to the age they are. I have finally have the attitude that I can do the DBing a lot easier now. I guess I have gotten rid of alot of the anxiety that wasn't letting me think straight. I figure just move ahead and do what you can for yourself and make sure that we protect our selves. Hope you have a good night I should go to bed.
