Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy day by day

Not long ago I, too, felt like the backup plan, 2nd choice, etc. Now I feel more like a safety net. She has no place to go. Her romantic interest in OM is still there but he has adamantly told her "no more" (although she claimed to have ended it, what she really did was tell him that since he needs space, he should contact her when he's ready - some ending).

So now she's dazed and has no love for me (that she's willing to admit to anyway). At this point, I don't even feel like I'm in the running!

All in due time. It can't happen overnight. If it did, I would be REALLY apprehensive!

thanks jar. "Back up" hurts, that's for sure.

mcc, yep, slowly starting to feel out of the running as well. H really has nowhere to go. He would get constant grief from his dad, the girls would HATE spending the night there (away from me), he is really stuck here. I try not to make him feel that way (offer solutions if he is to move out), but he has to decide.

yes, ladies and gentlefolk, there you have it! Welcome to the
"Runner Up" club...the 2nd choice of 2nd chancers everywhere...who, by the way, are lucky as hell to even get a second chance at quality merchandise like us.

I once told my spouse that the one truth of this awful situation was the EVERYBODY would be hurt. She asked how I would be hurt if she left OP and came back to me. I told her, through my choking tears, that I would have to live with the fact that I was her second choice.

I love the idea of going to storytime and sitting down by OW. Of course I also love the idea of taking a shovel to the two of them and then using it to bury the evidence. Sorry, bitter? No not me!

Flip over to my thread and see why I'm so cheery today!
Stubby

I think everyone on this board even those in piecing woder about being the back-up plan.

I know iv'e been thinking that very same thing. H has not givin a reason to think that at all but, why wouldn't it go through our minds we've been pushed aside for OP and treated like crap.

MLC or not you still think it,even if you know they were tempoaraly nuts.

J

lwb,
How are you today? Better I hope!

tal

Hoping your day is going ok..

tal

Hello lwb.

I am back from my "vacation" and I am sad to hear what you had to experience. I guess we are all (I read the other threads to keep up), having a bad week. Glad we can come here though. They don't have something similar to act as a reliever.

I guess my T is right. I don't know if this expression exists in English, but at this point you must throw the monkey back to his shoulders. Let him and the OW feel scared about the next moves.

I also read during my time away that if they leave to be together, the statistics are that they will not succeed. Mostly because they look for things in others that they cannot bear long enough because is just not who they truly are. It's just the momentary thrill.

I think that right now he is probably in denial of the consequences of his acts. There will be a point in time when he will see the light in the end of the tunnel and it will be a train coming in the other direction.

You on the other hand will still have all the opportunities to have a fulfilled life with your girls.


HUGS AND STRENGTH.

stubby (LOL), I'll have to go find your thread. And yes, I am bitter here too.

jak, H hasn't said that to me (that I am second choice), but how could he not think it?

TAL, how are you???

hurt, thanks for checking in. I have to look forward too, and realize that I can't change what he does. I too, think they will crash and burn if they try to actually be together.

Journaling:

We had a conference today for D3, we drove separately (haven't done anything together in 2 weeks) and met there. It sucked, but D3 got glowing reports, so I focused on that. I went into work late today and H and I were together in the house for quite some time. I felt like I was choking, suffocating. Could NOT wait to get out of there.

lwb-

I'm so glad to hear that your D3 got great reports. I'm also sorry that you had to feel the way you did when you and H were at home together. Not fair.

Hope you have a good night!

SueS