Going, Don't sweat the crying. You can't internalize it and you have to release and regroup. Just try to not let her see you do it. Many people would not put up with what you are. Is it any wonder why the divorce rate is so high. She knows you are her rock. She also unfortunately knows that she can do whatever and you will still be her rock. You need to find a balance of being her rock and being your own man.
You most definitely need to get out on your own. Reconnect with Friends that you have lost touch with. Take a road trip of your own. Break the normal routine. You are predictable to her. She doesn't have to second guess how you will handle things. Be passionate about something. I can't get a read on you Going because all you talk about is your wife.
Single - Ok 'kicking' her out might be a bit too dramatic but do you not think convincing her to leave might not help? It might mean that GISH is not having his nose rubbed in things as much AND she will get lonely quickly - GISH just has to let her stay lonely longer.
Saffie
I agree that she came back too quickly but I think Going is up to the challenge of finding out exactly what he is made of. Any day now it is going to click for him. Once he can get out of his emotional haze the guy is going to hit the ground running.
Thanks SA, You summed it up, I am her rock, and you're right, whatever she will do, I will still be there until the day I die. I realize that it sounds like I'm obsessed with my wife but that's how I've been for 22 yrs. She does know no matter what, I will be there for her. I know everyone says you need to do things for yourself and that no one else can make you happy, etc. But for me personally, being with my wife is what makes me happy. I know that may not sound healthy to most people but it's what makes me happy. I know you say you can't get a read on me because all I talk about is my wife, and that's because she is my life. I enjoy laying down in bed with my wife watching tv or talking. I enjoy listening to music together or watching a music concert together. I enjoy a nice meal with my wife. I enjoy talking walks with my wife. I enjoy doing things with my wife and children. So when you ask me what my passions are, it's these little things that we do together. I know it sounds lame but I am truly passionate about doing things with my family. Your suggestion about the road trip, is something that we've done together many times on our motorcyles are traveling with family. So unfortunately I don't have the desire or will to do these things on my own because everything I enjoy, we've done together. I am sorry I can't be stronger or more independent.
Going, Don't be sorry for the way you are but by all means be open to broadening your horizons. Jump on your scooter and get some miles under your a$$! In 2002 I began collecting parts to build a replica of a 1946 HD Knucklehead. I want more than anything to do what you can by just walking out to the garage and hitting the road. I chose to build this thing by sourcing each and every nut and bolt (except for the engine). The satisfaction of doing this build and seeing it through to the end is for me only.
Gish, I'm so sorry. She is being so disrespectful to you. You might want to read "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson. I think you may have to set some boundaries for her, but like everyone said follow the 48 hour rule first and get your emotions under control. Then take it from there.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks for the link!!!! I love bikes too. Bikes and horses - the adrenalin rush.....it's too much for my H but he does have many other good points - he loves TVR's
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
My big question for this weekend....What do I do about my wife going out this Saturday night with a bunch of male co-workers??? She told me tonight that a bunch of them are staying overnight at one of the guy's houses and she won't be back until Sunday morning? Am I insane to sit back and tell her to have a good time? How should I react and what should I say? I don't like her being the ONLY female there. Should I worry that something sexual could happen? PLEASE ANY ADVICE because I'm going insane here :-(
but he does have many other good points - he loves TVR's 