That's a hard question. Is there any other reason to be in the neighborhood? Do you know any DBers close to where she currently is? It would be better if you could say you are going to be in the neighborhood, would she like to get together, rather than asking if you can come see her. If you can possibly handle the rejection really well, and can phrase it in a manner that has no pressure attached, then I say you should go for it. The worst that can happen is she'll say she doesn't want you there. In which case you say, "okay, no problem" and show it doesn't hurt (even if it does).
Do you think she's met someone new?
See the thing is that she is in Michigan for work. So me being in the neighborhood is kinda strange. I do know that she has a friend that she meet in her training class when she went through it back in July. He lives in Iowa so Im not worried about that. But I did find some half naked pic's on her phone that she sent him. Which crushed me. When I confronted her about it she just that I didnt understand, she didnt mean anything by it and she just likes to tease him. Other than that, that is the only thing. I think it was an emotional affair and she always needs the attention anyway. I try not to think about what goes on between them, it makes my mind wonder and I will go insane.. I know that she likes the threater so I purchased some tickets when we are in denver, this is a change because she was always trying to get me to go to a musical. Im just hoping that giving her time and space until we get to Denver where we can be together that my actions and the way I act, she will see that I am a different person and hopfully she will be attracted to me again...I have noticed some changes in me and the way I act so maybe she will see them also and give us another chance or just the thought of her giving us another chance will be enough for me..
I know people tell me to do stuff that I enjoy so I am leaving for Nashville tonight (actually in about an hr) for a softball tournament (softball that is another sore subject with her) and I will not be back on her until monday. Please reply, I appreciate your feedback and I will post monday and let you know if she calls me..
HI mwel I think purchasing those tickets was a great idea. It will really surprise her if it is not something you would normally do. Don't expect though for just those tickets to start making you attrative for her again. It will get her thinking and wondering so just keep it up. Continue to listen to her and be there for her and do not mention that other guy again. You act as if about that and as if you do not know or care. It is tough and I am doing it right now. So I know your pain but that is what you have to do right now. Did she call you at all?
HI mwel I think purchasing those tickets was a great idea. It will really surprise her if it is not something you would normally do. Don't expect though for just those tickets to start making you attrative for her again. It will get her thinking and wondering so just keep it up. Continue to listen to her and be there for her and do not mention that other guy again. You act as if about that and as if you do not know or care. It is tough and I am doing it right now. So I know your pain but that is what you have to do right now. Did she call you at all? Good luck and keep up posted.
thanks for the reply Lissie. Normally I do not go to the theater, plays or musicals, she has always tried to get me to go. She has always wanted me to go to the nut chracker also, so maybe I can get tickets for that but I do not want to over do it. I do not mentation the other guy and as hard as it is, I try to think that nothing happened. I do not expect her to completely do a 180 on her decision, I know it will take some time but Im hoping something will happen to her that weekend. I want her to see that I am not the selfish person I once was and I am interested in things that she wants to do or enjoys. She really doesn't call, she will just send text messages.
I think I made a mistake, on Friday night I got a voice mail from what I thought was an law office, so I asked her if she contacted a lawyer and she said no and we didnt need one. All she has to do is file for the papers and then sign them. Here is my mistake, I told her that right now I am in no position to sign anything, she got upset and sent me 3 text messaged telling me to "just sign them, just sign them, just sign them"..I didnt reply to them because I know that things would go south if I did. The next afternoon she texted me as if everything was okay and she got over me telling her that I wasnt going to sign the papers. I never bring up our R when we talk, I just listen and pay attention to what she is saying...
You didn't screw up. You told her honestly what you thought, which is you aren't ready to sign. She's sure in a hurry.
Yeah I know but it seems like I did. She got really upset with me. I do not know if she even has filed the papers yet...Yes, she expects results fast, she has always been like that. A piece of me is telling myself that she is just saying these things and taking no action, exp. since she is still going on our trip in December.
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
P.S. Good job on not responding to the text messages.
Thank you..I could not take it anymore and I didnt want to start a fight.
Also last night I went over to her parents house, her mom was helping me with my benefits for next year and I asked her if she would like me to keep her on the benefits...she replied "Nope"
Mwel - do not fret. She is just reacting as a WAW does. They do not know what they want. They are jeckyl and Hyde right now. They are two different people in there. There is the W that you had and then there is this person that has snatched her away right now. She is very confused still.
It was great of you not to answer her texts and whenever they send things like that do not respond at all. Just let it go. Also you were just being honest with her as she was being with you so she can not fault you for that. You both have different feelings right now and she needs to accept that.
I think you did great. Do not worry about the benefits thing either at this point she is so confused she just does not want to be tied to you in any way. Mine flipped out because I bought us new cell phones and extended our contact 2 more years and has refused to use the phone. How childish is that since we have a S together so we are tied anyway so why not use the phone and if things do not work out we can cancel in two years. It is not as if we will never see each other again.
They just want to be away from us and depending upon us and by having benefits thru you she is tied to you in a way that she may feel is too much right now.
Hang in there just always remember to think before you act or speak. I have learned that the hard way.
Mwel - do not fret. She is just reacting as a WAW does. They do not know what they want. They are jeckyl and Hyde right now. They are two different people in there. There is the W that you had and then there is this person that has snatched her away right now. She is very confused still.
It was great of you not to answer her texts and whenever they send things like that do not respond at all. Just let it go. Also you were just being honest with her as she was being with you so she can not fault you for that. You both have different feelings right now and she needs to accept that.
I think you did great. Do not worry about the benefits thing either at this point she is so confused she just does not want to be tied to you in any way. Mine flipped out because I bought us new cell phones and extended our contact 2 more years and has refused to use the phone. How childish is that since we have a S together so we are tied anyway so why not use the phone and if things do not work out we can cancel in two years. It is not as if we will never see each other again.
They just want to be away from us and depending upon us and by having benefits thru you she is tied to you in a way that she may feel is too much right now.
Hang in there just always remember to think before you act or speak. I have learned that the hard way.
I am working on thinking before I act or say anything. We do not have children, we only have a cat together. I understand it when you say that they do not want to be attached to me in anyway, that would explain why she wants to get out of our joint checking acct. I just miss her so much and sometimes I can not take it and I would love to just talk to her. Just to hear her voice.
