WL, you need to start the process of letting go. You are trying to fix this for him, that is very co-dependent and harmful, and one of the lessons that you likely need to learn from this is that another person's feelings, hurts, and journey, are their own.
Focus on yours instead.
There are resources at the top of the MLC thread and within them, there is a link to a "detaching" site. You could benefit from reading that and starting the process of working through those exercises.
I cut the "letting go" poem out and had it taped to my computer for months. Some days I would say it 100 times.
Nothing wrong with being tired of feeling this way, just be prepared for the fact that you are going to feel this way for a long time. And even longer if you keep staying so wrapped up in attaching your feelings to whatever feelings you attribute to him.
I'm off to my tennislesson in a bit...; I've noticed that when I'm there, I hardly think of H !!! Sport is good for you, so if you can bring yourself to get some excercise it might help you get your mind of things for a bit, so that you get some rest 'in between' !!!
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Know that whatever happens you WILL be ok !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
