Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Now I've done it.... again #4?

neph, interesting that this all started when he started working at a high school. does that happen a lot?

I started reading "the jane austen book club." its a bit different than the movie, but interesting and detailed in a way that movies can't be. one of the characters teaches high school, and she thinks about how a lot of people teach high school in order to settle issues from their own high school days....either purposefully or not. some to protect unpopular students like they used to be, or like they used to pick on but now feel guilty about. or they try to fit in because they never did in high school.

this is a novel, not sure if that holds water, but thought it was interesting what you said about your own H.

neph,

Don't expect any promises from him.. the less you expect the less you will get hurt.. believe me. He's in a zone right now and yes I read that he sent you messages.. he's definately confused and needs to find his way.

You on the other hand need to do things for yourself, get out when you can.. Im going out tomorrow night with my gf.. first time in a very long time, but my h is away on business and I just need it bad.
'
Its good to let go and have a good time without worrying about him, god knows we do enough of that!

tal

Well, I felt really bad about yesterday. He never showed up on the weekend, as planned. I sent a text earlier that I had put pics on flicker like he had asked. Then I called a little while ago. Left a v-mail "I just called to see how you were doing. You sounded upset in your v-note yesterday. Hope you are doing better."

Then I had a little wine and called again. He answered. I told him S2 wanted to say hi. He talked to the kids then S2 put me on the phone. He asked if I left a v-mail. I said yes. He said he hadn't checked it yet. He was really rude to me, actually. I asked what he was up to and he said he had to go. I asked what he wanted me to do with the old computer. He said he would have his brother call me to come pick it up. He's not coming here.

So there you have it folks. Maybe it was b/c of my v-mail yesterday, but I don't think that was entirely it. He had already changed his mind b/c he didn't contact all weekend. He spent his Saturday ordering porn at 2:30 in the afternoon instead.

I changed my cell number. I deleted him off my contact list. I don't have his new number memorized. I'm done with him for now. I just can't take any more blows.

Tori

"I've shaved every place where you've been, boy
I said I've shaved every place where you've been, yes
God knows I know I've thrown away those graces" (Blood Roses)

"A matter of complication
when you become a twist
for their latest drink
as they're transitioning" (The Power of Orange Knickers)

In retrospect, I think OW or someone must have been with H last night because the things he was saying were so off the way, even for him. He was saying, "I'm sure S2 misses me and wants to talk to me. I hope you let him call me when he does." Hello? How many times has S2 called only to get a v-mail and no return call for days? Hadn't I just called him to let S2 talk? I replied, "Yes, of course." He just kept going on implying that I am keeping the kids from him. Finally I said, "He does call, but you hardly answer and he gets upset. We sent a text on Sat, and you never even called him." He said he will try to pick up more. He kept going on and on along these lines. It was so weird. I don't know why he even picked up.

BTW, I think the reason he is having the best buy bill sent here is b/c she doesn't know about the recent gifts. Secrets everywhere.


Grrrrrrrrr. I am so frustrated right now.

morning neph.

Yes, secrets and lies all around. How do they keep up? Its got to be exhausting. Don't let him bait you about keeping the kids from him. That's HIS guilt talking, nothing about you.

He is very confused and lost. Did he ever mention the email about the porn charges, or about Retro?

no, lwb. No mention of anything. It was like none of it ever happened. We're right back where we started.

UGH!

neph, could it have been a family member he was with? or a friend? probably was with someone if he was acting that weird, but try not to guess too much...remember what I said about filling in the pieces with info that you don't really know.

I have to say, I hate it when H sounds weird, too. I do know what you mean. when he was at the lake I knew OW had to have gone with him, even though he denied it at first. he sounded like a total dick on the phone, really really weird, and I just knew. so maybe you are right (I found out later I was), but again, doesn't change anything. just hurts like hell.

they are so freaking hard to figure out...which is why I guess we keep hearing that we need to take the focus off of them and what they are doing, and put it onto ourselves.

stay strong!