lwb, I have a fantasy where h is locked in a room with her. lol. actually, my real fantasy is that he has a therapist someday just like her. she is awesome. always has been, have known her since we were 14. in fact, anyone looking for a therapist in florida, I've got a great one for you. its kind of nice that she is my friend, because she plays both parts for me...she's not my therapist and doesn't pretend to be, so she says things very differently than if she were...she says things she never would if she were a therapist. but still she has the background/experience of one, so she has a lot to offer. she has been a godsend thru all of this. I should post one of my favorite e-mails from her from early on...its really awesome. in fact, maybe I will, since it may help some of you in similar situations.
had a ton of fun with the kids today...we did our boo gifts and snuck them out. nothing cuter than my 5 year old sneaking them up to his friends' doorsteps. really, really cute. he looks like an abbot and costello routine. came home, made cookies, goofed around, sort of straightened the house but really didn't do the cleaning I needed to...and didn't care.
survived tonight. had a lame w/o at the gym after H got here, ended up coming home a bit early while the kids were still up. H was really cool, actually...completely respected my wishes about not talking to me except for kid stuff/pleasantries. everything else was via e-mail (today he e-mailed me to say he can go to the sox game on saturday instead of friday, did I mind if his mom watched the kids, very cool of him to do, happy about that. bitter that he gets to go to the game and I don't, but happy about how he handled it).
he took the oprah tape. mk, was hoping you'd swing on to give me the lowdown, donna saw part of it but I know you saw it all. I decided if it helps him leave, well, so be it. I'm just hoping it helps him talk to his kids/deal with his kids/makes him understand this will affect them some if we do divorce. they will be okay, I think that is a big part of the message, but it will affect them.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
HI Morgan, I can assume to know but what exactly are 'boo bags' and 'boo gifts'? Are they Halloween stuff? I'm in Australia where we don't do Halloween in a big way but I was thinking about taking d6 trick or treating around the block. Maybe I can get some ideas of what is fun for 6 year old girls?
yep, lwb, overall a good day on all fronts. at least as good as it gets.
caseymoocow, first, awesome name. just typing it makes me smile. second, boo-ing is something I think fairly new around here, at least it wasn't around when I was growing up, but I know its been around for maybe 5 or so years, because my nieces have been doing it for that long.
its really fun, especially with young ones. starts right around now, so it has a chance to make the rounds before halloween. you put together a couple of gift bags...just simple stuff that kids love, like stickers, pencils, a little candy, trinkets, whatever. nothing too expensive, but a bit of a treat. then supposedly after dark (we did it in daylight, my kids are young) you leave a bag on the doorstep of a friend or neighbor. the following poem and rules go in the bag, which pretty much explains it all. I'm telling you, its so popular here now that target and hallmark both sell kits so you don't have to make them up yourself if you don't want to. lol.
OK, here's a primer on BOOing:
First, make up a treat bag of Halloween candy / trinkets.
Next, print out the following poem and directions and attach them to the treat bag (if you can print them on a ghost shape, even better! you can have fun/be creative with color and clip art and the like).
The air is cool, the season fall, Soon Halloween will come to all Ghosts and goblins, spooks galore Tricky witches at your door. The spooks are after things to do, In fact a spook brought this to you !!! The treats that came with this short note, Are yours to keep ,enjoy them both. The excitement comes when friends like you , Will copy it & make it two, We'll all have smiles upon our faces, No one will know who "BOO"ed whose places !! Just two short days to work your spell, Keep it secret, hide it well. Please join the fun, the seasons here, Just spread these "BOO's" & Halloween cheer .
You have been BOOED! Please keep it going by following these directions:
Enjoy your treat Place the BOO sign on your front door or visible in a window Within 2 days, make 2 copies of this note, make 2 treat bags & 2 BOO signs Secretly deliver to 2 neighbors/friends without a BOO sign in their window. Keep an eye on nearby front doors to see how far and fast it spreads by Halloween
Once your BOO is ready, wait for dark and then deliver it to a neighbor. Place it on their front porch, ring the bell, then hide. Don't let them catch you!!
Then it will be their turn to BOO someone, and eventually it goes all around the neighborhood.
Last edited by morgan; 10/11/0702:43 AM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I dunno how your H is going to react to the show. I almost mentioned the Children o Divorce Part 2 on Oprah tomorrow because my H and I are huge fans of Rabbi Schmuley and I heard he may be on Oprah tomorrow.
The Children of Divorce show dealt a lot with infidelity and even some abuse. It does leave an impact on the kids BUT some might see the positive side of divorce. What I mean is that we see that some children suffered so much in bad marriages that perhaps divorce looks like the best alternative. So parts of the show is not about saving marriages but rather how to deal with the aftermathof divorce and infidelity.
Honestly, I wish there was a show on sticking together.
Overall, if I told my H that my D is more likely to have less success in high school because there is no father in the home, I doubt he would even care. I learned this pedagogical correlation in one of my Chicano Studies classes. The greatest indicator of success in high school is the level of math that the father uses on a daily basis at his place of work. Almost all jobs require some level of math. So what are the implications for children in single mother households? You do the math.
Yet don't despair as long as there are teachers like Donna and me out there!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
My S2 says that all the time. Is that a bad thing? Daddy's are fun. It seems only natural they would want one around all the time. Each time they see a coach, an uncle, a neighbor, they go buck wild and climb all over the man figure! When my S2 asks for a New Daddy, I just say, "You have a Daddy. He loves you. You will see him Sunday."
You do not need to offer H any consolation or advice. You are not his TH or mother. Let him deal with his own issues of insecurity or tell him to read DR and say it talks about children!! Trick
Take your own advice and when your H feels sad about what he hears, listen and parrot, but do not problem solve for him. I may sound bitter but how many more reminders do they need that they are ineffectual parents and not as smart as us? geez. Are they kids or men? Sorry. Go have fun and when he has an issue say, "Oh really?"
How funny would it be if your H started DBing to get you back!!!
Last edited by mkultra; 10/11/0704:21 AM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I went to the Al-Anon meeting Wed night, and we had to do a personal inventory of our strengths and areas to improve/faults. That was pretty easy; I've been doing that for months! But, somehow, I forgot or discounted the work I do for kids. And how much I get out of it. Thanks.
And for the update about the follow-up program. I will watch it.
Morgan--hope your morning is starting off well...what time will you be in Boston Saturday?
thanks, mk. he didn't mention the show this morning, not sure if he's watched it or not, but figure he's actually respecting me a bit by not talking about stuff...I think he's scared of me right now. lol.
not sure if I will tape today's ep or not. sounds like it was good, but I really wish there was a show about staying together, finding a way, db'ng and all that. maybe we should write oprah en masse?
donna, I haven't decided what time I'm heading in. I have a few things to do around here, but will probably head in mid-late afternoon, depending on whether I'm getting dressed at my hotel or here at home. will try to get to fire and ice between 4:30-5, I'd say that is my plan. if you want to coordinate meeting up, or if you want my cell phone #, e-mail me at morganagain at gmail.com
I need to program your number into my phone, I know you posted it here.
looking forward to saturday! its going to be chilly, but knock wood no rain.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
