Sandi, It's unfortunate that these meds have so many side effects. I have decided to wean myself off the Effexor due to the sexual side effects. My depression is much better but it will be only a matter of time before it returns. Sigh.
RJ, the other AD meds I took seem to have cause me to go from LD to ND at all. I don't know about this kind, but the others did not effect my stomach. However, I never could tell that any of them helped with my depression. My Fibromayalgia doctor said that people that live with chronic pain has had some good results with this, so I was ready to risk having the sexual side effects again just to feel better otherwise. I guess a person has to decide which is the lesser of the two evils. I told him that if I could just have some energy that I did not think I would feel so depressed. He said that a lot of the pain, low energy could cause the depression or it may be the depression causing the pain and no energy.....kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg. It is hard to live with and very discouraging. My plans have fell through many times due to this, but I can't give up everything in life....even though there are days that I feel like doing that.
Several of you have talked to me about the physical problems in my stitch and I appreciate that very much. I know this is a SSM forum and it gets off the subject, but since it all seems to tie in together, for me, it has helped to have a lot of support from you all.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yeah, Sandi-- what dose did you start with? I felt strange for the first few days on Lexapro. I started at 10 mg, half the standard dose. But after about a week, it kicked in, and I felt a tremendous difference-- startling, really (in a good way). I can't tell you how much this drug has improved my mental and emotional clarity. After another four months or so, I upped the dose to 20 mg (under the direction of a psychiatrist).
You can certainly get off of it... but you may not know what it can do for you unless you give it a fair trial. Also I take mine around dinner time. I don't take anything on an empty stomach. If you have an ulcer, IMHO this would be particularly important.
Sandi...you might try calling your doctor to see if there is anything you can take to help with the side effects until you get used to the medication...maybe eating something before taking the pill...or something as easy as that...I know my H had trouble at first but I can tell you at about the 14 day point they really kicked in on the depression part of it and he felt so much better emotionally that the residual effects were not so bad...and soon those pretty much diminished...
Hey Sandi, sorry you are having so much trouble with your meds. My W is on ultram and lyrica for nerve pain, and the doc also put her on prednisone for inflammation. She has never been on so many at one time that i think she has the dosages screwed up. My W is almost back to her old self in the last few days, and i can hardly contain myself. She came in the house on friday nite, and i was speechless for a few minutes b/c she got her hair cut! I only say this b/c for 5 or6 years she has worn it long, and she knows that i dont like it long. She looks so good with short hair and also looks 10 years younger. I told her friday nite that she looked very good, and with the weight she has lost, she looked years younger. Believe me, she was beaming. Sandi, i almost want to scream with happiness, only b/c i see this as she wanting back in the R, b/c one email that i have with the OM says that she only wears her hair long,b/c she knows i dont like it and she does it to piss me off. You know if she really wanted this over, and wanted to play games with me, she wouldnt have cut her hair. She talked about getting a new refrigerator over the weekend also, so something is turning in that mind of hers. She wants to talk all the time, and last nite we were both sitting at the kitchen table doing work, and actually had a pleasant conversation about her troubles at work. I am taking this one day at a time, but i see real progress here. Also, she finally used a gift certificate i got her for mothers day from me and the kids, and went for a massage on saturday. When i would mention before about going for a massage, she would just shrug me off and say that she didnt have time. Could she be changing for the better? I still think this will take time, as i know she has lots of guilt, and is embarassed to talk about the R. Wait until she sees the what i have to pay my lawyer for september, she will flip. But i hope she brings it up, then i will calmly tell her that i have to protect myself, and we can always start over and drop the divorce. Sorry to steal your thread, but i just had to write. Take care, and thanks to all for the support.
I am a new guy on this board. Been divorced about a month after a year-long process and just found out that ex has been seeing OM for quite some time. I've gone "dark" so to speak. Ex won't talk to me anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Don't know if you feel like giving any input, but I'm curious about these relationships that start during the divorce process (or possibly prior to my separation). OM lives about 2 hours away and is now driving to our house (which my ex got in settlement) and spending nights here. I'm trying to understand her situation and am getting over the pain of finding out about him. She has completely changed. Her brother tells me that she still spends at least an hour a week going off about me to him. I hope that we can get things worked out, but am coming to grips with the reality that it most likely will never happen.
I'm sure you get a lot of requests for information and will understand if you don't feel like replying. The OM seems to fill all the voids that I couldn't or wasn't aware of. He has even started doing work on our house, which honestly, seems really weird so soon after the papers were signed.
We have three young daughters. This is basically a long-distance relationship and she is being very secretive about it. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Sandi2, hey I have a question I need to ask you since you were in the WAW sitch as my W is now. Would you, or did you, when in your R with the OM, think about anything other than that R? I ask b/c my W now has been throwing out hints about different things, such as saturday she suggested we look for a new refrigerator b/c the one we have now is falling apart, also she has cut her hair, knowing full well that I really like her hair that way, telling the OM that she knows that i dont like her hair long and she does it to tick me off, and just be overly friendly. Saturday she and my D went grocery shopping and she came home and got upset b/c she forgot a few things, namely grape juice that i have been drinking for quite some time. She made it a point to have to go back to get these things. Now I know you said that you couldnt leave due to financial things, however my W makes a lot more than me and could walk out the door tomorrow and not have to worry about money. My question is this: Do you think that by doing the things she is now doing, that she is trying to come back into the R? I cant imagine that she would cut her hair when she knows that i like it that way. Someone suggested that she did it for the OM, but since he lives over 3 hours away, i doubt it. Also, why would she be so nice to me if she wanted this over? It was friday a week ago after i sent her an email about supporting her in her work sitch that she started to come around. Thank you for your help.
WOW...........I should take more weekends off! I was so surprised at all the messages! (lol) I will try to respond to each of you. Thanks for your interest and kindness.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi Southerngirl, good to hear from you again. My meds come in capsule form. It could be that I did not have enough food on my stomach when I took it.....I can't really remember. I have had to take pain meds for like over 37 years, so I'm sure the lining in my stomach is about gone. Before I knew better, I took one kind for years without food or even a glass of water. At that particular time, it did not hurt me, but I found out years later that you were not suppose to take it on an empty stomach. I never remember the pharmacy putting a note on the bottle about it. Anyway, as I said, I can't take asprin or anti-inflamatory meds anymore or things like that that I use to be able to endure. I am sure I have an ulcer.......never took a test, but I have all the signs of one. It takes days to get over it when it flares up. Today was really bad at work. I was still hurting with my stomach but I felt so weak......I first thought it was b/c I hadn't eaten much....then ate lunch and that really made me sick. I still feel very weak, but I think my stomach is a little better for the moment.
After I get over this, I may give it some time and just take one capsule at my largest meal.....which is in the evening. But, I got to get a lot better before I can do it again...lol.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
