I often wonder if I told the OW my side of the story if it would make a difference? I never approached the sitch, I just wanted OW to know that I existed in case she was some stupid Amber Frey who was lied to. She knew. Oh well. Now I know he lied to me so maybe he lied to her as well. Whay am I saying, of course he lied to her!!!
I remember Neph talking about how naive the OP can be. Mine is very young and naive, weak, so maybe that is the appeal. A self esteem boost for my H. Like ImLin mentioned, "submissive". I am so sorry that you are going through this.
Typically, you are right that pushing, means puching them deper into a coccoon. Healthy, adjusted people are not likely to have affairs. There are different types of affairs but there are also certain patterns. Try to avoid the pitfalls of making the affair any longer.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
yes I have to protect my source as I don't want to lose that insight as to whether or not they are seeing each other. I don't believe a word from H so therfore there is no other way for me to know.
BIL told me tonight that H made a comment to him the night he invited me to his house that we can get along and still be friends. Like that is why he invited me.
Well in perfect world that would be great. And I know that some people do continue to be friends after divorce. But for H and I? I really don't see that happening.
I cannot be a friend to someone that I love SOOOOO much and has hurt me SOOOOO deeply. I cannot live the rest of my life seeing him, spending time with him, being friendly, but that's it. Never being able to be held by him, to kiss him, to sleep with him, to ML to him, to cry with him, to laugh with him, to spend my days with him, my nights. And in NO way will I ever be able to be friends with him if he stays with this OW.
I cannot believe that this man was my husband. His mind is so distorded. What the hell is he thinking? Does he think I am made of cardboard?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Oh I know it is so hard. I have been through break ups and could have cared less if I had to see some old boyfriend again but this is soo different isn't it.
Yes, he was your H and he will always be your H. No piece of paper will change that you and he chose to be married. He is going through a transition that is painful to everyone involved. But he has to deal with his own issues. there are things you can do to minimize the damage and being here and DBing is the best start. Just keep arming ypurself with DB and DR.
Things could have been so much worse and uglier for me but I am happy with the status quo. My H is not home but people always tell me, " Can't believe how wel you are handlingthis!" I just admit that I am a DBer.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
There are different types of affairs but there are also certain patterns. Try to avoid the pitfalls of making the affair any longer
What do you mean by this? How are there different types of affairs? What are the patterns? How do you make it longer?
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
