Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Still standing...

I really think that we make ourselves sick but we can make ourselvces happy. Let's suppose you thoght like a beginner. What dude would want to date someone who thought about them 24/7. No ways. Especially a dude that is not sure if he is into you. I know that people in love are not supposed to act this way but these wayward spouses are already talking themselves into thinking that they are no longer in love. So think like a beginner. Stay ineresting and act happy and get a life. Remember that a happy spouse is extremely difficult to leave. That image of you and he growing old together is great if you both have the same Northern Star. If not, focus on something more goal oriented like cooking a great meal, or finishing one house project or talking to frineds about their lives instead of ours, etc.

thanks for responding f21, I was really needing to talk to someone here this week and it seemed like everyone left. I kept reading though and replied to a few.

I am taking the baby steps to a better me. I was going to the gym a few days a week but I am not a loner and got tired of going alone. I am really, really trying to get back into my painting. I work a little at it each day, hopefully will get my "drive" back soon.

Something new? No not really. I've tried to think of something but nothing there. I really loved my life before this MLC thing! I lost alot of those desires when he left. I guess now my goals are to find me, again. To get back who I was with some improvements.

As far as things to notice or reveal. I am seeing quite a few things. I think. If I hadn't have found this board I wouldn't think anything about them. But I do recognize things. I think.

H is looking at me somewhat when we talk. H will smile at me. I can make him laugh even. The anger in his eyes is almost gone. He is really spending time with his family again. (they were really close before) Not playing cards with guys from work anymore. Taking more of an interest in farming (although it is harvest time) Spending more time out here.(doing farm stuff). Went back to drinking Mountain Dew(not pepsi that she drinks). Seems to be (tiny bit) trying to reconnect with our girls. Still nothing personal towards me though. No R talk what so ever, no D talk though either. Never anything complimenting or caring towards me, except he has started saying Thank You when I help him do something.

I don't know these are things I see but don't know if they "mean" anything at all. Maybe I just see them because I want to. Because I want him to return so bad...

Yes I know what you are saying mk,

That is why I keep telling myself to let him go. Because I know that as long as he is seeing her he really doesn't want me anymore. And I don't know one way or another if they are still in a relationship.

I also know that I do not want to give myself to someone that doesn't want me. I deserve better. I am a good person and I don't deserve to be someone's wh*re, or someone's OW. Not even if that someone is the man that I love.

"IF" he ever comes back I will be there, for now. If not I will be okay.