Why should I show you love when you have given me nothing?
You wrote your story in some black pixels on a white page full of pixels.
You have learned what the the other board could not help you with. You went looking for "something".
You werent listening.
Now you are. You had to walk through this.
I had to be here.
I have NFC why.
I told you from day one what I tought. You assumed it was coming from somewhere else.
To me no one has ever talked to you this way.
You got it I think. Hopefully you will retain what you have learned.
Some people need a bomb.
Raises his hand "I did it"
Remember you effected a change in me. Pixels on a page.
Hopefully you see that the way you are looking at life is thru some colored glasses. Mine are green. Yours are blue. Your husbands are red. Put some red glasses on.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
I am putting on the red glasses and I am seeing things the way I think he saw, sees, and hopes to see.
Know what I see in you? Perhpas you dont even care. In fact, you seem to want to people to think you dont care what they think.
I think you are trying to figure this sh*t out and thats why you are here.
You are afraid and frustrated and a little lost yourself.
Your rough exterior and outright harshness are a defense mechanism for somethng though that I have not figured out yet.
You are smart and you know whats up and you are more than willing to offer your opinion to people (and believe me I appreciate that you even take the time to read or post to me) but you for some reason feel you have to do it in a manner that is charged with hidden emotion.
I find you a great challenge both in terms of trying to figure out what you mean sometimes and others trying to see what you are feeling in terms of your own situation.
M: 34 H: 32 M: almost 6 years S: 2 yrs D: 4 yrs Together: 8 Known him: 15 years I walked away: April 1st Wanted back: May 1st!!!!!
I am trying to figure this out. Just like you. That is why we are here right?
I am lost. I am frustrated.
It is not a defense mechanisim. It is who I am. It likely started as a defense mechanisim. But it made me into what I am today. I am OK with me. I don't need to find myself.
I am smart. I know whats up. I do take time to post. There is some emotion in what I post. You don't have to figure it out you just have to ask the questions.
Your husband should be the challenge not me.
If I am making you think that is a good thing. I think all the time. Sometimes I can't get away from it.
My situation sucks just like yours. I hope to hold onto "this" after my situation gets better. I see the high points. Don't know why but I do. I for sure have NFC disease.
I know you appreciate what I have said. I know you don't "Need" you husband. I don't need my wife either. I want her to want me. Me, you, everyone here wants it to work. The unlikely couple. The LBS (Forrest Gump) and the WAW (Erin). If anything I am giving you a look from the other side. I have seen the woman in you since day one. You don't think I see the woman in my wife? What do I have to say? Look at what you just posted. Look at how smart you are. You came here a woman that counted on her husband for EVERYTHING. And you just posted ^^^^^^^^ that. Who should be missing you now?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
You did not need to add that you were smiling. I could see it from here. About 30 min ago.
And actually the Snap-On man brought me a new box whit a brand new High Impact Air hammer. I got it out just for you. It feels a little uncomfortable but I think I will get used to it.
If you want to see it just go to http://www.snapon.com and search for air hammers. Pick the most expensive one. Thats it.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
