No, I haven't read any of those books. I need to add it to my growing list....lol. I appreciate your encouragment very much, sweetie. I feel like stress is killing our society and when a person has a chronic condition to deal with on top of everything else, it makes it worse than (due to the physical stuff) what the "normal" person would have to work through. So, again, thank you for caring. It really does help.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Good morning all. Another weekend for me sick in bed, but today is a new day and I think I'm going to make it to work. Nothing new to report other than my son and family did find a place to rent and so I'm quite thankful for that. Have had some other stress, but nothing more than just usual family stuff.
I think if I can ever feel like a "human" again and have an ounce of energy that I will surprise everyone and do something "special" (and especially for my H). Not going to tell what it is right now, but I'm just thinking up things....lol.
Last night, I felt so bad and lonesome but I knew it was due to the health and not being able to just "do" something enjoyable for a change. I said this to say that the "memory" of how I used to would have gotten on line to chat with OM came to mind. I do not have a sexual desire for him, now, but think I recognized the fact that it was the "company" that I missed. I hope that does not sicken you out.....it kind of does me, but I'm trying to be honest with myself. It was the lonliness that led me to that type of R to begin with. My H was very quite yesterday b/c he hasn't felt very well himself this past couple of weeks, but there was no tension or anything like that between us. We didn't have much communication between us, but it wasn't strained. Anyway, I just came and read posts on the board and as usual, they helped me to get through the lonliness. I'm still reading my books. Was difficult to focus yesterday, maybe b/c of feeling poorly.
I started not to tell any of this, but after all, I think this is what part of the "journaling" is all about. Even though I'm getting closer to my "3 month" mark of no contact with OM....I'm not completely there yet. I have no intentions of backslidding! It is too hard to even think about going through this again and as I have read....it would be more difficult the second time around. So, no thank you, don't believe so!
It's funny with me......I have always looked at Monday morning as a new slate......you know...new week, etc. So, I am usually geared up and ready to "step-up" and do better. That is how I feel today, thank the Lord, and I just wanted my friends to know that I may have some bad days from time to time and struggle with my health, but I'm not giving up. Yesterday, I felt like giving up, briefly anyway.....from a physical point, but then that is just what the old enemy wants me to do and I refuse to allow him that victory.
I love the fall months. Even though I've been sick with allergies due to the change in seasons.....I still like it...lol. For some reason, it has always seem like a new beginning instead of the end of a year. Maybe b/c of the cool air and bright new colors in the trees that will soon be on their way. Gosh, I almost sound like I'm going to break out writing a poem.....lol.
It's just that when I wake up with a tiny bit of "hope"....it is the best medicine God can give me. That......and friends like all of you. Not to sound like a pity party, but as I told you once before, I had really reached the place I did not have any close friends and so you all have become important in my life. At the risk of sounding like a "broken record", thanks to all of you that show your concern b/c it does mean more to me than you could possibly know. That is why when I see a "newbie" that is a possible WAW come here for help (just like I did) I hope you will jump in there and help her.....save her...like you did me. God, it scares me to think how closely I came to ruining my life!
I am still looking forward to the day that I can come here and give you exciting news about my R and tell everyone here not to give up b/c even in a almost 42 year R.....there is hope for a successful M. I am going to prove that to you all b/c I am not ready to quit. All I need is just a little energy to get my body moving and just wait and see what I'm going to do!
Have a good day friends. I love you guys for being here day after day for me and I hope you know, I am here for you too.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi Sandi - Lou asked me to stop by and share some info about fibromyalgia with you.
At least half of all fibromyalgia is linked to thyroid disease. This may be true even in cases where the blood tests for thyroid are negative. (I just read an interesting study out of Sweden where they did needle biopsies of patients with chronic fatigue; 40% had biopsies showing autoimmune thyroid disease, and half of those did NOT have thyroid antibodies positive on their blood tests.)
There's a guy in Colorado who has done a lot of work on this named John Lowe - http://www.drlowe.com.
Even thyroid patients on thyroid hormone may still suffer if their dose isn't adequate or they are only on synthetic T4 (Synthroid or Levoxyl). I find many patients do much better on Armour thyroid. If it hasn't been done, ask your doctor for a COMPLETE thyroid panel - TSH, FREE T4, FREE T3, anti-tpo antibodies, and anti-thyroglobulin antibodies.
Consider also asking your doctor for a 25-OH vitamin D blood test. Even here in sunny San Diego I am finding many patients who are vitamin D deficient, and among the physical symptoms of vitamin D deficiency - you guessed it - muscle pain. You can read more at http://www.uvadvantage.com.
Hope this helps.
Ellie (PS -I'm a family physician who treats mostly thyroid patients and related disorders like celiac disease, B12 deficiency, etc.)
Ellie Thanks so much for posting the fibromyalgia web site, and the other information.
This time I saved the information and included your name in the file so I can find it. 10 MB hard drives were easy to manage and find things. 300GB hard drives, well things get lost.
My H went through a terrible MLC...depression diagnosis...diabetes diagnosis...alcolism diagnosis...and he had 3 TIA's last summer...and now ED issues that pills don't seem to do much for...
He has been on thyroid treatment for well over 12 years...and just recently his Dr. noted that he was showing TSH in his blood tests...twice they have reduced his thyroid meds...I think he is on Levoxyl or Synthroid, that sounds familiar...the Dr says it is rare to see the thyroid start working after so long of it not doing much at all...any thoughts on this?
BTW...we live in sunny San Diego and H does feel much better when he gets out in the sun regularly...for that matter so do I...
I did look into that site. I have an app't with the doctor Thursday. I have had my thyroid checked several times, but it showed just a slight elevation so they never did anything about it. I thought it would be low b/c of the lack of energy but then a nurse tried to explain how it works....which is opposite from the way I thought it would be. My doctor is Dr. Bruce Safman from Little Rock, and has written some articles on fibromyalgia. You may know of him. He also believes it is inherited. What do you think about that? He asked a lot of questions about my parents and my childhood, but I never saw a connection to make me think it was inherited. I have thought that prolonged periods of great stress could cause it b/c of the people I know personally have each experienced that, including myself. I have thought that somehow the thyroid would have to play some part in the metabolism. Sometimes, I think if I could just have energy that I could deal with the pain and the other things. I don't even think I would have depression if I just had energy!
He has me taking 1800 mg of Gabapentin at night for the nerve pain. He said that was the max amount he could give me. He is giving me Tramadol for general muscle pain. I am taking sleeping medication also. I can't sleep at all without it. I try to take the B's and other vitimins (including D).
We still have some doctors around this area that doesn't "believe" in fibromyalgia and that is always upsetting. The last doctor I had before Dr. Safman sent me everywhere for tests trying to "prove" I didn't have it. It just ran up large medical bills that will take a year to pay off. Anyway, I'm sure you hear stories like this all the time.
It means so much to me that you would take the time to talk to me about this. I know you have to be careful what you say about other doctors, etc., but if you have any advice for me (besides what you have already given) I would appreciate it so much. It's not like I have the finances to hop a plane and go anywhere in the world for treatment, but I sure would try to work with a octor to get better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Cemar! Why would the OM want me? Why, that is very obvious! I'm smart, beautiful, sexy, fun, entertaining, a great conversationalist,....no, just make that a "talker" (lol), compassionate, great imagination, sense of humor, perceptive, hummmmmmm.........and oh yeah, humble!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Why would the OM want me? Why, that is very obvious! I'm smart, beautiful, sexy, fun, entertaining, a great conversationalist,....no, just make that a "talker" (lol), compassionate, great imagination, sense of humor, perceptive, hummmmmmm.........and oh yeah, humble!
These are all wonderful charactieristics to have. But you are missing something very BIG from this list. I am trying to help you understand that what women want in relationships is VERY different from what men want in relationships. You can't fix any relationship until you understand what MOTIVATES men. You were MOTIVATING OM, and not for ANY of the reasons you listed above. By MOTIVATING him, he obviously was going to feed your needs. So please think again about what the OM REALLY saw in you. This might help to understand your husband and what he does (or doesn't do).
