Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy what is the ow thinking??

Big fight this morning. I got mean and nasty. I told H I don't feel like he will ever be able to meet my needs so what's the point of staying married.

I'm doing a horrible job detaching and have been asking a ton of questions, "who were you talking to, where are you going, why out that late, who is going to be there?" Ugh... I seem to be digressing in the past couple of days.

Sorry to hear that Olive. What do you want to do?

Olive,
First things first! You calm yourself and then get back in the saddle and start DBing again. We all go through times where we just lose it. NO BIG DEAL! Probably your threats regarding ending the M went in one ear and our the other, like everything else! Don't catastrophize it. It's just a small drop in a large lake. Relax, take care of you. Don't put yourself down, then re-group. You will!

No.. he totally got on the D bandwagon. Since the A is a secret, won't it be interesting when people ask why. I'll reply to some that we're d'ing because H has been having an A for a year. And, to some I'll simply tell them to go ask H.

I am COMPLETELY FIRED UP right now!!! I just found out that he spent $250 of MY MONEY ON THAT TRAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, H just left a message.. "checking in with us". WTH?? WTH?? WTH??

What do I want Hope?? I want this SH!T to be over!!! This marriage is a friggin' joke..

I'm really sorry Olive. I understand all the frustration.

We all do, but when it's over it's over and there is no turning back. I wish I could come over there and smack your H around and tell him to wake up...he can't have a wife and a mistress. His wife loves him and stood by him through all of this when all your mistress is doing is causing problems...a blind person could see which way to go.

If he is on the D bandwagon, is he willing to start the process? I just don't understand your H. Most other H's on here in some way shape or form seem to be for the D because that is the only way that they think that they can get out of this. Your H seems to think that he can just continue to live like this. Another month's gone by and I'm not seeing any changes. What are you planning to do in the next few weeks? It seems like you need a plan or you are going to keep on like this because he obviously doesn't have a problem.

Hope,
I agree. He doesn't even have the ba!!s to file because he has A LOT to lose when people find out about his dirty little secret. In the meantime, ow b!tch plays the helpless little victimized divorcee' and my H comes running to her rescue. I hope they enjoy their lovely life together.

The only thing that's changed is that H's actually kept our child away from the ho and told her she was not to buy any gifts for her.

I'm refusing to answer to phone right now...another vm message..

You are right.. I do need a plan. Otherwise, he is just going to continue on like this forever. Suits him just fine.

LO,

You need to GAL big time. Look closely at what would be the advantages and disadvantages of divorce. As long as he's involved with her be mentally prepared for anything and don't hesitate to hide money if you do suspect divorce may be looming in the future. I would be really angry if my H were spending money on OW (yeah, my H spent family money on her...) but I have my own seperate personal account.

What would you be doing differently if you were divorced and living separately? Will that make your life better? Can you do these same things now being married? Heck, it's easy enough not to wear a wedding ring....

That's really the hardest thing because it's already as if I'm mostly a single parent but there is no time that he "has to" take D3. He's always just going off whenever he wants. Sooo, if I were divorced, I would have more time for myself. Honestly, there are a lot of positives that I can think of but of course, I would be terrible lonely at times... Then again, isn't lonely better than insane??

I have my own account too. This was cash out of our joint acct.

...just got another vm message.. that's three in 3 hours..

Thinking some more.. Yah.. it's over. I can't do this any longer. I can't be married to a man who acts like he has two wives. I just can't do it any longer.

LO you are detaching. You can do this!!!!

Saffie