well it's a dream not supposed to make sense. Anyways, OM is gone in the middle of BFE for 3 weeks w/o cell phone service (supposedly). So, I'm trying to delicately balance keeping boundaries, giving her space, and trying to keep the house running smoothly. I can see where she got stressed. Last night she started yelling at me about getting rid of a table she wanted me to. I told her that I'd take care of it but that she doesn't need to talk to me like that. I seemed to have scored some respect points there and she started apologizing profusely. I guess I've always been the peacemaker smoothing over everything to get everyone to play nice and am realizing that it isn't always necessary and in a lot of ways not desireable.
I know she will be having withdrawl from OM so it's kind of hard to know how to act. Been working on AS IF and taking care of my family. Another thing, she seems to be "working on us" (at least superficially) by going out to lunch with me a few times, etc. The lunches go pretty good and she hasn't said she was consciously doing that but she also seems to be half-there.
Any suggestions on pitfalls or just helpful guidance?
H 30 (me) W 28 Married 9 yrs 2 children EA found out on 7/5/07 ILYBNILWY 8/25/07 The unexamined life is not worth living -Socrates
Lester, I am trully sorry for the situation that you are in. Have you been to therapy yet? I'm not saying you should, but I will tell you the concurrent theme in a situation like yours what most of them would tell you having been to so many of them myself. Take some space, for yourself move out temporarily. Keep you wife at the home you have built together. Let her feel your presence in the silence once you are gone. And the time apart for you will lead you to really do some soul searching. In many cases you have to walk away to find your way back. I have also read this in countless books. There are people that will disagree with me, but that is old time thinking. If your wife ever loved you, she can find her way back and at least this way you will know. I went thru this for 15 months myself, I am now in another relationship and maybe its just getting me thru day by day. But as where before I would say that there was a 100% of nothing working out with my wife, I think there is definetly a possibility. Its just that things won't happen on your and mine timetable, thats what sucks. Right now time is all you need, and her character and intentions will reveal themselves soon enough.
