Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy lost in the land of confusion 6 and holding

Hey everyone,

I found a 1/2 bottle of rum hidden in the closet. My W has problems. She is hidding things. I think mental things from me. I am at peace, But I feel a storm coming. I am still sending the letter on Tuesday. I hope I can hold out until then. I am almost thinking of our "date" on Saturday as a Goodbye date. I will see what kind of response I get from the letter but am sure it won’t be good. I have this feeling. I think she is only staying around for my son. So does this make me a bad person because I want to end it? I am ready for the Divorce. I have n o idea where to start. All our stuff is so intermixed. It is hard because unlike most of your sitches my W and I are not fighting. We have never called each other a name. We have NEVER hit each other. I think it would be easier for me if she would just do something. I'm not mad, I'm not scared anymore. I am not really hurt. I am sad for my son. It is so strange me living so open and transparent with NOTHING to hide and the person I am with is so hidden in her problems.
Don’t worry everyone I’m ok. I think I have just come out of my own fog.

Husband

Husband,

This seems to be coming a bit out of the blue.

You haven't 'talked' in a while so I am sure there will be things she has hidden away in her mind you don't know about. It doesn't mean it can't be sorted.

Do you really think she has a drink problem?

Do you think perhaps you are starting to build a wall so you don't get hurt when you send the letter?

Saffie

Sara,

Check your mail for the link.

Saffie

Thanks Saffie

Saffie,

about 7-8 months ago I found a cantainer hidden in our room with rum in it and I didn't say anything to her.
I am thinking she is drinking to have the curage to stay here with me.

Can't think of anything else to say right now.

She went over her mom's house when she gets back I am leaving. My son stayed home form school today. He has some kind of heat rash. The doctor said it could have been caused my getting over heated from ridding his bike so much. it was 80 degreas here yesterday

When you say you are leaving where are you going to?

Saffie

I don't mean leaving for good. I will probaly stop by her mom's house and see the tree that was taken down last weekend. I will probably go inside and have a drink with her and then maybe down town. not sure from there.
I am not mad or hurt just frustrated at the lies.

husband

Maybe she is drinking because she feels bad about what she did with OM. Perhaps she is drinking because she has been rejected by OM and thinks you don't want her either. Don't assume it is because she does not want to be with you.

Things on the boards have been a bit down the last while and you have a big step ahead of you. Keep strong. Your sitch does not look as bad from the outside as it seems to appear to you - unless there is something you are not telling us.

Saffie

Husband,

Just be careful - you are so near getting what I thought you wanted. Which lies in particular are bothering you at the moment - the secrecy from the family? The OM? All of it?
Are you wondering if you do want to be with her?

Saffie

Yes you are right there could be other reasons. She makes such a big deal about not taking drugs for pain and the such. I don't know. I know I don't hae facts and should not assume it is because she does not want to be with me.

But..... She did tell me in the past that sex was no big deal with her and when we had it she had been drinking So I asked her if sex is no big deal then why did you have it with him. She said "well if I am going to do it I might as well do it with someone I care about". Now Mind you this was 5 months ago and her attatude twards me seems to have changed but...