The marvelous thing about email (if it is something you can utilize) is that it removes your fear of saying the "wrong" thing or responding in anger or the convo screeching to a halt because you're speechless at her interpretation. It allows you to say what you're trying to say without fear of an emotional outburst or verbal freezing from yourself and it allows you to hear what she has to say without getting all twisted up because your wife is crying. It gives you *time* to think and frees you from having to think on your feet during an emotional conversation. MrsNOP -
This has been working for us as well. It seemed like everytime we would get into a conversation about us, we would (a) get into an irritated state similar to what Chrome describe (b) get interupted by kids, or worse yet, (a) & (b).
Finally, I started sending her e-mail and it took all these factors away and made it easier to get my point across and receive her point.
It has just really opened up our communication between us. Just my 2 cents.
I have had some success with emails in the past, one time when I was out of town and just got to thinking about a bunch of things and decided to lay it all out on the line. Frankly that was just before her 1st hypersexual period, so maybe there was a connection. I'll give it a try.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I avoid saying how I truly feel because I'm afraid of her reaction
Right now, I am just feeling incapable of making myself heard, because of worry that not only will I say things in a way that can be misinterpreted, but that she will misinterpret in ways that set us back rather than move us forward.
Maybe you are a hundred percent right to be afraid of what she will say/how she will react. Especially based on history. Problem is .... you can't KNOW that for sure. And as long as your fear of her reaction is holding you back from confrontation and/or total honesty ..... you're making the decision for both of you. You're depriving her of the chance to respond positively to you. Now, whether she does or not you can't control, but then at least that's HER choice, not you assuming the responsibility for both of you, taking the choice away from her by avoiding the tough conversations.
That's not to say that you shouldn't give some canny thought to your timing and methods. Let me be another voice in favor of email .... it has *totally* worked for us, especially when the clashing libidos thing was at its most contentious and there was NO WAY we could have a rational conversation about it.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
