I was thinking about what you said about how your H feels guilty and remorseful, but stops short of apologizing. My husband took a long time to get to the apology too. First he blamed the affair on me, and spent quite a bit of time trying to convince me that I was culpable. When that didn't work, and I had a books to bolster my side of the argument, then he expressed remorse over hurting me. It was not until we were at Retrouvaille and the assignment was to write about what we needed to be forgiven for, and then to ask the spouse for their forgiveness, that I finally got the real thing -- an apology. Some people have a very hard time admitting they are wrong and asking for forgiveness. My husband is one of those people.
You are the ROCK. You are my hero with your nerves of steel. Like everyone else, I'm taking notes. Don't know if I'll ever have the chance to use them, but I'm taking them.
You set boundaries so perfectly. You are loving and understanding, but you also aren't going to be a doormat. Perfection. Your H is a lucky man.
Well done.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
Thanks yoyo! Hope you got some sleep. You've had a rough few weeks. But once again, you prevail, being the strong one, even if you don't feel it inside.
Sara, that is how H is. He rarely outright apologizes, just does things to make it up. Honestly, in some areas, apologies don't mean anything to me anyway. Our 'ongoing' issues (one of them is him taking his bad moods out on me), I hate hearing an apology because damnit, just stop doing it.
neph, Thanks. We'll see about the doormat thing. I have a feeling H is going to spend his nights away from here on the nights he goes out. No guilt for him (I am not there, so he won't worry about when he is coming home), then he gets the kids after he wakes up from his night. But thanks. I feel pretty strong these days.
andy,
morgan, I get a lot of my actions from reading your threads. Believe me.
Journaling:
You all are so supportive and nice, what would I do without this place? Deep down I fear that I will be the statistic that DB's my hiney off and still gets divorced. But I shall trudge on.
I increased my running program today. Ran for 25 minutes straight, have no idea how far it was, but I was at a good pace. I can't believe it. I don't know where it came from, with my chest cold and not running since Friday, but I did it.
Going to park here for a bit, then shower, then meet D5 for lunch. Its pizza day. Think I burned enough for a slice? I do. I am feeling better today but D3 is not. She is at school, but my phone is at my hip, thinking they might call. My best friend/neighbor is a pediatrician so I will be hitting her up for a check up this afternoon. lol
Happy Tuesday, or at least.....Tuesday to everyone.
wow, good for you, lwb. you are doing really well in the running dept! heck, yeah, go for that pizza. nothing wrong with a slice or 2 now and then, right? (as long as it isn't Imos...ewwwww. one thing I do NOT miss about st. louis, lol)
have fun with your D. hope your younger one is feeling better soon.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Saw OW today at D5's school. I know she saw me too. You have to walk by the huge window (lunchroom, where she was) to get in the school. I was with D3 and my neighbor (her D5 is my daughter's class). I saw her van so I was ready. We walked into the lunchroom and I saw her daughter's class walking out. No OW. I went outside a bit later and saw her coming out the SIDE door, totally avoiding the main area!!! She had on the t-shirt from the race H and her ran together (where they separated when they found out I was there with the kids, they rejoined after me). I know her H hates that shirt so much and yet, she still wears it.
I am ok. I had fun. I came to be there with D5, and I had a piece of pizza. lol
Good for you!! I know you were thinking.."just one smack" lol.. Remember you have nothing to be ashamed of SHE DOES! and she most certainly should be embarassed! bimbo.. sry bout that! oops no im not..
TAL
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
