As always, such words of wisdom. Thank you so very much for your posts over the year(s). They have meant alot as you are very introspective and caring..
W8ing..my BB buddy..Thank you for recognizing that I need to slow down. I try so very hard to cheer everyone on with words of encouragement that every now and then my battery burns out..
As for my weekend..Had a great one with New Guy. We just went out to dinner both nights which was GREAT. No cooking! Woo Hoo! Yesterday I spent the day alone orgainzing and chucking old clothes which was a terrific feeling..The clutter around here is slowly going away.
THe clutter was definitely a sign of my cluttered brain over the past three years. Funny, I am working more now than ever and my house is starting to shape up..
Well, battery low on my laptop so I will be going to bed. Kids all snug in their beds and lesson plans all ready to teach tomorrow.
The jerk is threatening to take the kids to Hawaii if I don't approve of him taking the kids out of the country somewhere in the Caribbean.
I never said no, I just wanted to know the plan.
He said he didn't need my approval and TOLD me when I had to get the passport stuff done and where.
Again, I asked for details.
He basically told me if I don't approve of it he is taking them anyway and it will be TWELVE hours away instead of 2 and 1/2..which is b.s. It's more than that.
I had a great day now the a** is at it again.
He is taking the OW and the last time I posted about her she took her BATHING SUIT off in front of my kids to change..
And told my X to call me a f-ing bitch when my D was there.
All I want is PEACE!!
I have been so nice..
Compliant..
Friendly..
Trying to make money..got a job..
Taking great care of the kids..
And I KNOW this was OW plan so he is getting heat from her to get me to do the passport thing..
Oh, btw, the kids don't want to go..
Last time he took them away he LIED to me about the location and the kids..The kids were so upset when they didn't go to Key West as they were all geared up for it.
They went on a cruise, instead, and were stuck in the middle of XH and OW's fighting the whole time in between all you can eat buffets and bad karoake music.
EVery picture my son was in from that trip he looks SO UNHAPPY!
What the heck do I do?
My divorce decree simply states that any decision made that may affect the welfare of the child shall be a joint decision. And it states that the parent shall notify the other when planning a trip 30 days in advance..No info about leaving the country.
I am refusing to sign the passport.
He isn't thinking about the kids..it's the greedy ow that wants to go to put my kids in camp all day and then at night have them watch her 5 year old kid.
She basically admitted to it.
Oh, btw, I think she sent me the email "threatening" me with the Hawaii thing today..
She is such a loser..
I didn't respond to the email. That is what she wants. And she loves when we fight.
Oh, I called XH today to talk to him about son's braces and he was so nice I almost fell over. This was AFTER the message was sent but I hadn't checked my email yet.l
That nasty snaggletoothed Rat does nothing but start trouble.
She HATES it when we don't fight with each other. She actually told XH she LIKED it when I had a restraining order against him.
ARGH!
Well, other than that, I really did have a great day..
I came home from work and New Guy was here with his crew plating two new beautiful flowering shrubs in my garden..
I'm sorry the two of them are stirring up trouble. Good for you for having the sense and serenity not to reply to the Rat's email.
About leaving the country...I don't know how the law applies after D, but while we were separated, XH and I had to get a notarized form from each other each time we took S14 out of the country.
I doubt seriously that your XH and the Rat could take your children out of the country without your permission. But this is definitely a question for a legal expert, i.e., your L!
My best friend always says, jokingly, "no good deed goes unpunished!" I know it looks right now like your stretch of good behavior is being punished, but you know it isn't. Just hang in there.
"in between all you can eat buffets and bad karoake music."
LOL.
You always crack me up. I can't believe Rat's kid is 5 now. My how time flies. Perhaps your ex can go on a vacation with just Rat, since that's what it seems she wants and then he can go on one with just your kids.
Maybe your lawyer could get something in writing that your kids can not babysit her kid. That's ridiculous!
Furthermore, if they wanted to leave the country so badly why didn't they just tell you where and when (completely reasonable) as opposed to making it some stupid mystery mind game. THat's so lame. They are truly losers.
"in between all you can eat buffets and bad karoake music."
LOL. (thanks!)
You always crack me up. I can't believe Rat's kid is 5 now. My how time flies. Perhaps your ex can go on a vacation with just Rat, since that's what it seems she wants and then he can go on one with just your kids.
Maybe your lawyer could get something in writing that your kids can not babysit her kid. That's ridiculous!
Furthermore, if they wanted to leave the country so badly why didn't they just tell you where and when (completely reasonable) as opposed to making it some stupid mystery mind game. THat's so lame. They are truly losers.
Yay for the new flowers!
Thanks W.L! My point exactly..Everything has to be a lame mindgame. I simply said to my XH..Tell me where you are going, tell me that the Rat is not going to pull any crap and give me the details and I will give you my okay..
He said that he doesn't need my approval.
Nothing but power struggles for him..Oh well..he does need my approval.
I am just waiting and not reacting. The Rat will end up getting the brunt of Xh's mood as I am sure she is pushing this "free vacation" big time. It is a 7K vacation, btw..I looked it up and the amenities.
Celestial and A.H.
My cheerleaders..Thank you..I am keeping my cool and life is still good.
I did spend a few hours this morning reviewing my posts over the past two year. I simply bullet itemed all the fights the kids have seen with the two of them and all the stunts she has pulled to provoke the fights.
I HAVE FIVE TYPED PAGES!!
If any of you want to read it..I will email it to you..
You won't believe the pattern with XH and his contact with me..
If I just look at how cyclical it all is I can plan my reactions to XH's behavior. According to the cycle, the Rat is pressuring him and they are fighting.. By the weekend they won't be speaking. He will spend a ton of time with the kids next week and be hanging around here in town. He will blow off the Rat and spend next weekend alone with the kids. Then, she will call with her tail between her legs and they make nice. Then their goal will be to ruffle my feathers and her goal to get XH and I to fight.
No more talk of XH and his antics.
No more talk about the RAt.
Hmm..let's talk about my students
THEY ARE AWESOME!!
One of them had me laughing so hard yesterday I almost fell off my seat.
They are thoughtful and sweet and SMART! They are in a very low level English class but they all have such intelligence. I am going to spend my time as a teacher affirming this so they can see what I see.
Well, off to get my little snack and watch ET.
Kids are great.
New Guy even better..
I have my house, my kids, my new job, my health, friends, family and this is just a gliche in the road.
Thanks for wondering about me. I`m still in limbo. My H still wants to be alone, he thinks he did the right thing by me by sticking around until I finshed school before he takes off with a clear conscience.
He acts like the old H, but does have moments of MLC monster. I`ve learned like you did, to walk away when his behavior becomes wacky and I never take anything personally, after all, it is all about him, still.
It does hurt me to know that after all this time of being in the same house and him sharing my life, ( I`m still kept out of his life, away from his family,) that he feels the same way. He deserves an oscar for his performance, or, maybe he doesn`t want to walk away, he just won`t admit it to himself.
Anyway, I`m pushing forward with the notion that he wants out, but he`ll have to wait until I`m ready financially. He`s freaking out with the fact that I`m entitled to half his pension, and he mentioned some kind of payout for me if I leave his pension alone. Well, HELLO, because of him I had to start over at 50, and whatever small pension I have on my own will not be enough should I live to a ripe old age.
Started a new job, hate it, am job hunting again, this puts a hold on his plans, but who cares. I am entitled to work at a job I like, I will not be pressured to do otherwise, by him or anybody else.
I have my grandbabies ( 2 1/2, 1, and another on the way) my adult babies who are my biggest supporters, my Jeep, my cat, and most importantly, self-respect. These are the treasures he`ll never take from me.
He said he didn't need my approval and TOLD me when I had to get the passport stuff done and where.
What is this? Are you kidding me? First, I am willing to bet your L will tell you that he does need your approval. Second - why do you have to get the passport stuff done? Unbelievable...
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My divorce decree simply states that any decision made that may affect the welfare of the child shall be a joint decision. And it states that the parent shall notify the other when planning a trip 30 days in advance..No info about leaving the country.
What happens if this is violated? He has violated it once by lying to you about your children's whereabouts.... I wouldn't trust him either....
Quote:
I didn't respond to the email. That is what she wants. And she loves when we fight.
Good girl! I would waste my time, energy or keystrokes on her. I would only talk to him about your kids.
And, honey...you aren't losing your mind - you are just reacting to him losing his mind!
Hang tough!!!
Glad you are loving your job - it really comes out in your posts!!!
