Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives WAW1978-Part 4

You've hit the nail on the head with splitting the clothes and toys. A few favorites in each place, then just divvy up the rest. Don't know about your, but my girls have more clothes than they could ever wear anyway.

If anything comes out of this, they'll be less spoiled because we can't get as much for them as we used to.

For movies, we're still sorting that out. Luckily, we're close enought that if we need anything from the other's place, we can quickly get it.

BD

Well, H lives w/ OW and her D10. It wasnt until recently that H built an exta drawer thing in her D closet. H buys our kids clothes to keep over there. They do not tote stuff back and forth as it would be too much stuff (3 girls).

Sorry not much help here I guess cuz OW doesnt have too much space for "the brady brunch". H still has all his junk in our garage and his his extra room. The only reason he took most of all his clothes was b/c I put it out of our closet and into his extra room (btw pist him off).

Mine tote their clothes back and forth. All movies stay with me since I took both tv's, vcr, and dvd player and H will probably not get one. My kids have so many toys so we just split them up. Makes it nice to have another place to keep their toys. Before we even split, I took bags of toys out of the house.

Thank you for all the suggestions. Sounds like everyone has a plan that works for them. I am going to work with the suggestions and see what I can come up with H that works for us.

Yeah, the TV's/ DVD etc is a pain. We had an older (still nice) TV in the basement that the H "let me" take with me. DVD players are pretty cheap so i just picked one of those up.

I think I might buy some additional clothes on Ebay or something. Its change of season here in NE so all the summer stuff will be going in the closet and she is much bigger than last year so I am not sure how much fall/winter stuff will still fit. That being said we do not have an abundance of clothes to start with.

Good ideas folks. H & I just need to get a better grip on what the "plan" will be. At least for now we seem to be getting into a better routine, and almost a full weekend rotation which is a relief to me. This every other day crap was driving me nuts. now its every two days which seems to be working better. ***We live about 20 minutes away from each other but D4's school is half way*** works out well for the time being.

My H only gets them every other weekend so toting clothes is alot easier for us.

Wow. Thats a lot for you to handle Kelley. I give you props. Only every other weekend...no offense but doesn't he miss his kids? That must be tough on them too.

My H also only gets them every other weeeknd. This makes no differnce to me though b/c I was the one to do things ALONE w/out his assistance anyways. Event though my mom has low tolerance for kids she helps out every now and then. Sometimes I do look forward to having my weeekends all to my self. Three girls under age 11 can really get on your nerves(whinning city).

My H complains of OW D11 who according to him is a a spoiled brat.

I really don't think that he misses the kids all that much. I can see in his face that when he leaves them that it does hurt to say goodbye but I am sure that is gone 5 minutes after he leaves. He cares more about doing things for himself and spending time with the OW. That thing that he wrote that I found, he put in there about how happy she makes him and he has to the hardest thing that he has ever done in his life and he will have to pay a great price to be with her. That price was leaving his kids.

I asked him once about seeing the kids for a few hours on his off weekends and his response was no that he is too busy.

He thinks that calling them at night to say good night is good enough. They don't say anything about him not being around at all. Maybe twice my D6 asked him about it but that's it. If I am gone, they say they miss me and want me but never say anything about their father.

That breaks my heart to hear that & I don't even have kids...

What a donkey. I am sorry. As difficult as my H has been with me he will fight tooth and nail to be in our D's life at least 50%. I respect him for that. Even though I worry everyday that he will fight me for more than 50%.

Sounds like most of the gals on here are dealing with some of the same crap. But ironically most of the Dad's on here seem pretty hands on. I know if I ever got involved down the road with a guy who didn't want to take a big part of his kids lives I probably wouldn't keep him around long. I really don't have much respect for men or women for that matter that don't make their children top priority. OW/OM will come in go, you will always be a parent.

Sorry for the semi-rant. I grew up with a Dad who forgot I existed from 11 to 19. Woke up and realized he missed out on all sorts of things and then wanted to be a full time hands of father. Kind of tough at that point. But its been 10 years and he really has become a good Dad now. No complaints. He has paid his dues for that and has really been a rock for me in the last months.