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Nic,
I'm so sorry for what has transpired today. What an oaf! To send you an email versus telling you in person. That, to me, was very disrespectful and he also says he has no backbone to do anything properly.

Everyone has posted wonderful things, but the one posting that sums up all that we feel for you this day is what always posted. She's right, you know. No matter what else you think right now, he's given you the most beautiful and powerful gift of all--the freedom to not look back.

Nic, I know that you wanted to try again to reconcile, but God has a special plan for you and your family and right now, your h isn't a part of that plan. Work through the pain, allow it to wash over you and then some day very soon, you'll begin to see the plan that God has for you. It's all there, just waiting for you to heal a bit and then the world will open up to you to meet someone who was meant to be w/you for the rest of your life.

Now about the oaf, let him go. He's been a mixed up kid for a long time and believe me, you deserve far, far better than what he's been dishing at you for a long time. Nic, you are going to be okay. Give yourself time to cry and get it out of your system. None of us are saying it will be better tomorrow, but it will be better in the future. Do what you must to make yourself feel better.

We are all here for you.

(((((hugs)))))

I am sorry for the lastest happening. You don't deserve this. I wish I could take your pain away.

Nic,

I wish I could give you a hug.

I really am sorry to hear this. I cannot post anything better than what Always has already said. She totally has it right: this woman will take him as he is right now...which is NOT good enough for you. You deserve better. You will have better...eventually.

Right now, today, just get through it. There is nothing that heals better than time passing. That is what has helped me.

I hope you did something nice for yourself after school today. We are all here for you.

love, Hope

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am slowly doing better, although I don't expect that this will feel better right away; that is, I expect that I will still have pain for the next little while.

I am doing what always suggested, and thinking of this as a positive. Yes, it does free me completely. I will assume that they are going to get married, as thinking they will break up is not healthy for me.

What I don't get, is why they have to get engaged before H is even divorced! What's the rush? Unless she's pregnant, of course. Who knows? They've known each other for less than a year. I really don't understand this.

I am hoping she will have his kid, they will split, and he will end up paying CS for two families, ha ha ha ha ha! That would get him in the only place he hurts - his wallet.

No, that's just being vindictive. I really hope that my kids are happy with whatever happens, that they are loved and well cared for.

On the good side, though - if H is in a hurry, I'm hoping he'll just agree to my proposals for the D.

It hurts that he is willing to pledge his love to someone else, that he is willing to stand up in front of friends and family, and say that he will love her always. Of course, we all know how much those vows mean to him. If he gets married in a church, I think I will vomit. He should be struck down by lightning.

Ugh, anyway, thank you so much for all your love and support. I'm having a glass of wine, and then I want to get the kids to bed and have an early night.

I'm so sorry, Sugar, I can only imagine how this hurts, you are being very brave to try to focus on the positives, and yes, absolutely, this gives you leverage, leverage, leverage in getting the best settlement possible. He is truly in a squeeze play here. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Love you,
BA

Nicola,

I agree with Always. While you have been torn between standing for your M or not, God is setting you free from the chains that have been holding you back.

Don't worry whether H will be happy or not. It doesn't matter anymore. He may think he is and he may actually be but it won't last because that "in love" phase wears off.

How can your H pledge love to anyone? Isn't he the one who said he couldn't be in a M? He couldn't be a father? He couldn't be committed in a R? I really do feel sorry for his gf but then again, they deserve each other right now. She is so needy that she doesn't see him for who he really is. I certainly hope she is not pregnant because it really isn't fair to the child.

What matters is that YOU are happy. When you can be happy, your kids will be happy too. When you laugh and smile, you will attract other people who love to see you happy and maybe he might just be the best thing that ever happens to you.

I know that it still hurts and it's okay to feel sad and even cry if you have to. I don't believe we ever totally get over our Rs but we learn to accept them for what they brought into our lives. Accept and go with the feelings and know that it will make you that much stronger.

What a coward to send you an email and to send it knowing that you would be reading it while you're at work. He obviously has no respect for you otherwise he would've sent it when you were at home. We know why he wouldn't be able to tell you in person (guilt?) but he could've picked up the phone.

Your response was perfect. You have so much more class; more than he deserves.

Always a pleasure talking to you.

Hugs,
ISLH

"It hurts that he is willing to pledge his love to someone else, that he is willing to stand up in front of friends and family, and say that he will love her always."

Yeah. Give me a break. He doesn't love therefore he has nothing to pledge.

And by the way when you see him in person I would not say anything positive about it. I would just completely ignore it. Don't give this loser any attention for it.

Nicola. I have been praying for you. You deserve sooooo much and you are going to get it.

Nic I'm sorry I'm coming in on the tail end of this latest twist in your sitch. You know I understand I have been there. My H wasn't even as considerate as yours! He got engaged to OW in April 06 just 4 months after meeting her. He didn't tell any of us. He waited until the children went to a BBQ in July at his house and D17 noticed that OW was wearing a ring on her left hand and asked him if it was an engagement ring. It was and guess what............ he chose to invite the children round the day before our wedding anniversary (I was away staying with friends) by the time I found out (message on mobile from D17) it was my wedding anniversary. To this day he has never actually told us formally. Compared to mine your H has been a 'saint' on this occassion!

You know where to find me if you want to discuss this further in private.

(((NIC)))