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Hey Heim:

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Doesn't feel like my bed or house any longer. Were we to get back together, the bed would have to go. After all, she did f*ck OM in it.


Ugh... this even hurts me to think about.

On a positive note, glad you got the TV. I bet the football looked good on Sunday and Monday night. I got to watch my Jets get destroyed by the Pats in person on Sunday. Pats are going to be tough this year.


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413
M-28
W-28
Together 10 years
Married 2 years
No children
Things started taking a turn in 01/07
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Originally Posted By: Heimlich
She asked me this morning to split the 401ks. Which I'm fine with (mine was more and she originally said keep it). Before I got into packing, I had started thinking that I wanted to change that because I felt like I was just stealing 20k from her. I told her late last week that I was thinking of just giving her a greater percentage of the house sale to balance that out.


Wow. I don't know what to think of this.

TJ

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Sleep in the apartment...

w.r.t. 401ks, I doubt that legally it is much up to you. Generally, those things are split down the middle.


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Originally Posted By: oldtimer
w.r.t. 401ks, I doubt that legally it is much up to you. Generally, those things are split down the middle.


That's true in my state. All marital assets are split 50/50, no negotiating.

Even if it were up to you, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I may be wrong, but I would not volunteer more $$ because I felt like I was stealing.

She walked away! This is one of many consequences of HER decision!!

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I'll be in the apartment from Friday on. I have the girls for the next three days because of work schedules. You're just going to have to believe me that it's easier for me to stay here until then. Moving clothes and various random bits anyway, only here to sleep.

Stew, cable hooked up this coming thursday, so games start Sunday. Looking forward to it. It's pretty.

I'm over the A, with occassional mental glitches like that comment. Seriously though, we'd have to get another bed were we to reunite.

401K -- legal or not. Whatever. I've felt uneasy about this uneven split from the beginning. The only reason my 401k is higher than hers is that she took out flex benefits from her paycheck for bills. The money is every bit as much hers as mine. I could be an ass about it, but really, what's the point? She's not walking away because she had the A, she's walking away because of a combo of her not speaking up enough and not being honest with me and me blaming her for everything (well, most everything) wrong in our marriage until recently. Besides, what's going to get me closer to where I want to be -- freely sharing what's rightfully hers or being a petulant bastard? I'll go with option A.

Oh, regarding legality, we went with the mediation route, so whatever we agreed as the division of our assets is what's legal.

BD

Last edited by Heimlich; 09/12/07 04:28 AM.

My latest

Me: 36
W: 35
2 D: 9 and 5
T: 16 years
M: 12
10/4/06: Bomb
10/5/06: Ended A
4/22/07: ILYBNILWY

I'm a beautiful butterfly.
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I am with you, take the high road but as OT said, probably not up to you. On the sleeping at your house, OT, why do you say he should sleep at the apartment? Its a few days, who freagin cares right now?

Sleep well my friend H.

C


Me: 46
Wife: 39
D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7
Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07
Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
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Originally Posted By: Heimlich
401K -- legal or not. Whatever. I've felt uneasy about this uneven split from the beginning. The only reason my 401k is higher than hers is that she took out flex benefits from her paycheck for bills. The money is every bit as much hers as mine. I could be an ass about it, but really, what's the point? She's not walking away because she had the A, she's walking away because of a combo of her not speaking up enough and not being honest with me and me blaming her for everything (well, most everything) wrong in our marriage until recently. Besides, what's going to get me closer to where I want to be -- freely sharing what's rightfully hers or being a petulant bastard? I'll go with option A.


Fair enough. Each sitch is different, and it sounds like you did right.

Sorry for the delay in posting...had to go look up the work "petulant".

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Quote:
am with you, take the high road but as OT said, probably not up to you.


In the original terms of our mediated settlement, she didn't ask for the 401k after repeated offers by me. Even if we had already signed it, I would have agreed to the split. It's just the right thing to do regardless of legality.

TopJ,
No worries, hazards of being an editor. Occassionally I'll use a dollar word when a quarter's worth will do.

I am so EFFING tired of walking boxes up to my apartment I could scream. My legs hurt. My back hurts. I'm in decent shape and it's killing me. Almost there. Almost there. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

BD


My latest

Me: 36
W: 35
2 D: 9 and 5
T: 16 years
M: 12
10/4/06: Bomb
10/5/06: Ended A
4/22/07: ILYBNILWY

I'm a beautiful butterfly.
Joined: May 2007
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Hey Heim!

I'm thinking that one of these days I'm going to have to fly down there so we can have a football watching weekend.

Hope communication is still going well with W -- and whatever you do in the mediation agreements and everything else, just make sure you can live with yourself and won't end up holding grudges, being resentful, etc.

Take care, brotha, and enjoy that "pretty" TV of yours.

Who will be the 0-3: Michigan or Notre Dame?

Oh my poor BSU Broncos finally got their asses handed to them last weekend against the Huskies. I was hard to watch, but it had to happen sometime...(sigh)

GD


Me:29 XW:27
T: 10 M: 7 (2 kids)
Sep: 11/06/06 D'd: 12/07/07
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Do it, baby! I'll be in front of it many, many Sundays

Regarding the 401k, the resentment would have been from her end of giving up what was hers out of guilt. I pushed repeatedly, both before, during, and after the mediation that if she wanted to equalize the 401ks, I was fine with that and that we should -- it is her money.

Otherwise, both kind of dancing around each other's feelings and being hypersensitive so as not to step on each other's toes. Not in a bad way. Think it's a reaction to a stressful situation. Though the stress, at least for me, isn't the fact that I'm moving it's THE moving. Just want to be settled and couldn't take any time because of deadlines.

I'm going with Notre Dame being 0-3. Not that Michigan is all that good, just that ND doesn't have the talent to hang, I don't think.

Boise -- dude, that's what you get for running up the score. What, they were up by 30 in the 4th quarter and were still throwing in the first game. The football gods were angry and showed their anger.

BD


My latest

Me: 36
W: 35
2 D: 9 and 5
T: 16 years
M: 12
10/4/06: Bomb
10/5/06: Ended A
4/22/07: ILYBNILWY

I'm a beautiful butterfly.
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