Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MC - nervous and need advice

breton,

I am friends with me ex. If we didn't have children, we would never see each other. As for dating, I see no need to discuss any of that with her. Sort of like my parents, I didn't feel the need to let them know I was going out with someone. If I was to become serious with someone, she would know because our children would be involved. And actually, if you are really ready to move on (and I use move on to mean dating), his art and his books really wouldn't matter.

IMP

breton So true

Being friends is just a term. My H wanted us to be friends to, it helps them with their guilt. They don`t want us to hate them. Do be friendly and cordial, that`s all you need to do. No fighting or harsh words, you don`t have to hang out with him or include him in your GAL.

It is fun to flirt, but make sure your ready before you date. It`s not fair to bring an innocent bystander into your mess. It will only cause more of a mess.

Celestial

Celestial,

In my case, being friends no longer has any guilt attached. It is a mutually-beneficial situation especially for our children.

In my case, it didn't cause a mess for me, but I hurt someone by doing it.

IMP

Well, had 2nd session today, but it is more counseling than mediation and I am not sure that that is really where we are.

H says:

-C is more sympathetic to me because she is woman.
-C asking him to repeat what I said (to show that he heard and understood) was insulting.
-H does not want to continue because it is bad for his health.
-Does not want to bring up the past.
-H will look into LS.

I have DB session on Saturday.

What I am hearing: H absolutely DOES NOT want to examine his role in the situation.

H says his parents are coming to help him. Whatever. I am not sure I want to go to Maine to visit his grandmother w/D1. It is just going to be too difficult and emotionally taxing.

It seemed like we were making a little progress and the topic of mediation only made things worse.

I went out tonight. H knew I was out but did not know where or with whom (by myself, actually, for a little retail therapy, which I have been greatly enjoying as I finally found the blouse that I like online in the store--and it's beautiful)!

H called and then later left his number. I don't know why and babysitter seemed puzzled too.

Sticking w/no assumptions--possibly to discuss LS.

Otherwise, possibly checking up on me. Whatever!