Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Now I've done it... again

I think you made the right decision, no doubt. You tackled it calmly and H didn't spew back at you, and was a wonderful father last night. Sorry if I missed this, but where is H staying right now? Does he have some kids stuff over there too? I need to get ready in case H does leave, to figure these things out.

Hopefully with your continued DB'ing, H won't be 'scared' to be cornered if he comes over. It'll only take a few positive experiences and he'll come around more, I'd bet.

I agree, I think you made the right decision. sounds like you are doing well!

lwb, I don't know exactly where H is staying. Last night he was supposed to be at his dad's, but I don't know for sure. He is living w/OW but still says there is no OW (they are just friends). Right. That's why she's such a big friggin secret.

Don't get me started on this one. GRrrrrrrr.

SOB!

I haven't heard from him since 9AM when S2 started vrying b/c he missed me and wanted to come home. I told him to call when he calmed down. He didn't, so I clled about a half hour ago. Of course he didn't answer. Sends me a text. "when do you want me to bring him?" I called his dad. He didn't stay there last night. Left around 9 PM. Didn't stay at his bro's either. He took my son to OW'S!?!

SOB SOB SOB! He told them he was taking S2 home when he left. SOB! Lyng MF!

I texted him back "Now".

Now what? I have to calm down. What if he doesn't bring him. My poor son! He was crying for me this AM, I can only imagine what is going on.

I can't say anything when he gets here. Damn it! I have to calm down.

Via text, H sayshe'll be here in an hour. I'm going to get down on my knees now and pray that he does. Please, God, please don't let this man be so far gone that he would put our son in any emotional or physical danger. Please please bring him home safely. Please please help me find the strength to get through this.

oh my god. omg. what an ass. seriously, that right there is not acceptable to me. not even close. do you have any real reason to fear your son is in any danger???? if you do, call the cops. if you don't and are just upset about him being at ow's house, give him hell for that but not while your son is around.

not cool.

(((HUGS)))

My H still does not admit this. That he is living with OW or cohabitating! Maybe because he does not pay rent or have a key but he sleeps there and will commute an hour to his new job from there so yeah, that is living there! But I still get his mail. Yuck. And a parking ticket to show that he has to move his car from her place every morning but does not. Ugh.

Your Son is fine. Nothing bad will happen to him. If he is with OW she is a "friend". Please be positive. Your H is not thinking about you but in his weird way he is thinking about his son. Your son will always be OK with his Dad. I hate it too but my S2 told me he spent the day at the mall with "Daddy's new wife". This was never confirmed but the thought made me want to vomit. My Mom says to let it happen because nothing chases the OW away faster than the WS's kids. No thanks.

React positively. Ask you son, "Did you have fun?" Don't scare him. then put up boundaries in 48 hours. DBDBDBDB.

In the very short term, the advice above is great.

One other thing you need to do, is to start a log of your H's time spent with your children. Documentation. "Took S2 at X time. At FIL's until Y. Overnight at other location. Returned at Z time."

At the least, it will help you to have a reference so you can remember accurately, and know whether their contact is increasing or not. Worst case, you will need it to demonstrate that he has not had regular contact, and that there was inappropriate exposure of S2 to cohabitation.