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Hey Mattie,
Hope your trip went well. I'm sure your daughter will be very glad to see you!

Yoyo

Trip was good....just too short. I actually felt rather creepy staying in a motel room by myself, but I did it and survived! Back to reality--UGH!

Hey Mattie,
I'm glad you made it home safely and had a nice trip. I can only imagine how odd it was staying in a motel room by yourself, that's something I've never done either. When DD19 and I were visiting a college we stayed in a motel by ourselves and that even seemed odd.

Hey you did it and you will never have that milestone to overcome again!

Yoyo

Mattie,

It is wierd staying in a motel by yourself. I have had to do it quite regularly. I always used to think I would like the peace and quiet but when you have it. It isn't what is supposed to be made out to be. But now you did it and you can do it again. I always look around if I am by myself to see if there is anyone else around though. Where I never used to do that. You have to be more aware of things when you are by yourself. I come from a small town so when I am somewhere else I try and notice things.

I just wanted to say Hi. H still know what buttons to push to make you mad or to make you feel like they still might care. Or is it just my H. Now its like he is caring a little but then he is cranky too. Maybe she is putting some pressure on him. But get this he will call and say well you and I need this business adventure. (I'm kinda going I thought you didn't want me) Got any ideas on this one. The problem it is a deal the would be financially good for both of us. AHAHHAHA!!! About the time I have had enough he comes up with something else.....

I really just wanted to say HI. I have been extrememly busy and haven't had any time to start a thread again. I am on a lunch break right now.

Take care and I am thinking about you.
I'm glad you had a nice trip.

Penny and Yoyo--nice hearing from you both. Nothing new.

Hey Matilda,

This is kind of how I feel about going on vacation by myself. It's going to be strange and I would love to at least bring my son but..... I think I need to go it alone for once..

Husband

It's been an odd week. I had a long talk with H about financial stuff and I didn't cry at all. Had my first counseling session, too. Counselor made me feel like I was a bit odd to have put up with H as long as I have. I found myself defending him again. CRAZY! I asked why all my anger was directed at ow and she said she found that interesting. She said I should journal more about my feelings toward H. She also kept saying the divorce wasn't my fault and I needed to remember that! I didn't make a second appt yet.....figued I would be needing it more after the D is final.

Last bit of settlement is not going well. It's all or nothing for H (or in this case nothing or nothing....it involves his pension, of course!). I do believe the law is on my side. It would be so easy for me to give in when he "pleads his case", but I resolve to remain strong! He even asked what happened to the nice person he married (those weren't his exact words, but something like that). I told him that person left when he asked me for a divorce! Boy was he mad! If I don't change my mind he will hire a lawyer and it will be "all my fault" that we have to spend more on lawyer fees. (apparently the lawyer he talked to is on vacation so that is why I "get" two weeks to change my mind!) LOL.

D16's birthday is on Sunday. Having H and his family over for a b'day dinner (her request; they live near by--my side of the family are too far away). It will be the first time we've all been together since this mess started. Hopefully H's anger will have subsided by then so it will be a pleasant experience.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

(((Mat)))

Please keep being strong and do not give in to him on anything. Don't even respond when he says stupid stuff about any of this being "all your fault". IT IS NOT!!!! Your H still thinks he can bully you into what he wants. See it is ALL about him. He is ONLY interested in his best interests.

I know after my first C session I did not know what to think, I could not imagine it ever helping. I have told you how long it took me to recognize that it was. I don't much care for the fact that the C "made you feel odd" about anything. Are you sure you are not projecting how you feel about yourself?

Does your employer have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)? Is that how you are getting to see this C?

Happy birthday to your D16. I hope everything goes well tomorrow, please do not even entertain any sort of R talk with your H.

I will be back sooner than later, I think my time in the chair is quickly coming to an end (see my sitch for explanation).

HI NNP. I am going through EAP for the counseling. I get 3 sessions free. I'll be changing health insurance soon so don't know if counseling will be covered or not. I could have been projecting... have lots of exploring to do to deal with all of this! I do like the counselor which is important. Wish she had been there when H and I first went in for joint counseling. H might have gone back (but too late now). Thanks for the encouragement. I will definietly go to my 3 free appts. Hope you're up and about soon!

Hi Mattie,
I hope your daughter has a very happy birthday.

Isn't it sad that our DD's both had to celebrate their sweet 16 the year that their dad's decided that OW is more important than family.

I know you will do your best to make it happy for her. Just keep on letting her know that she is loved.

My DD has become so close to me during all of this. Last night at the ballgame when she had a break from cheering she came and sat in the stands with me. There wasn't room for her to sit so she just sat in my lap. Just last year she would have thought she was too cool to do that. Odd thing is her dad was there also, but she didn't even look for him. He was waiting outside of the gate when we were leaving so she went over and got a hug from him and talked to him briefly. I also walked over there and asked him when he wanted to cover the pool. He said he would come over Sunday. We shall see.