Take this in to consideration also. Of all the statistic that are out there about divorces or separations that happened from whatever cause, how many of them that failed actually tried to change the situation through practicing BDing or any other relationship technique to resolve their issues or work on their marriage? How many of them just through in the towel and said screw this? There are to many variables involved for accurate statistic for ever type situation. Irregardless, why should you care. There is no reason why you have to be one of those statistics.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Take this in to consideration also. Of all the statistic that are out there about divorces or separations that happened from whatever cause, how many of them that failed actually tried to change the situation through practicing BDing or any other relationship technique to resolve their issues or work on their marriage? How many of them just through in the towel and said screw this? There are to many variables involved for accurate statistic for ever type situation. Irregardless, why should you care. There is no reason why you have to be one of those statistics.
I know that many of my friends had never even heard of DB! I give it to all my lady friends because we are all around the same age with the same competency and family values, a bit too child centered! Very pro education and equal rights. You can imagine we are all married around the same amount of years with kids the same age, so why me? Well, I give the book to everyone so they do not get into my boat. Now they all see if it could happen to me it could happen to them, really.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
The thing is most of here are changing ourselves for what we feel is the better. The WAS often does nothing. So we get back together and discover nothing has changed with the dynamic inside the marriage itself. How can it when both parties aren't participating. It is a rare thing for it to work and I am not saying it is impossible but the reality of it is there. Take a look around at the boards. Especially in piecing. You will see what a long and tough road it is. You will see how many feel like they have to start over. Will they actually get a marriage back? Possible. It all depends on what you want from a marriage and how the interactions are after the WAS spouse returns. I reality, there are too many variables to have a pat answer.
lol, not sure how two db lbs would ever get together since both would be so terrified of pursuing.
you got some good responses, neph. I do understand wanting to know stats. I remember questioning db methods and if they had ever worked for someone in my situation, and if so, what were the chances.
really, though, focusing on self and goals are the only thing we can do, regardless of what the stats say.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Well, my apartment is a construction zone today. We're installing new shelves in the closets. This should keep me busy.
Never contacted H re: his weekend plans with the kids, and he hasn't contacted me. Not really surprised. Figured he was bluffin'.
If we can survive construction, I'm thinking of taking the kids to buy some fish. A fish tank in the front room would be nice. We've been talking about doing it for years. This is on my weekend agenda.
Re: success stats. I've been dreading the idea of starting over with someone new. Even if H comes home, we'll be starting over (I did check out the piecing forum). I still want H, but I guess, no matter what, life goes on.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
