Long time no talk.....just wanted to mostly say hi. I had to laugh at your last post and the door knob....sounds like me and my resolutions.
I didn't read every post, but I gather you did not talk to the W about the R a couple of weeks after the S.....that is good, I'm glad you didn't b/c that was not enough time to give her. Although I never actually left the house, remember I came close to WAW. IMHO, she needs longer to get the feel of reality of living on her own and more especially, without you in her life.
Anyway, sweetie, just wanted to let you know that I had not forgotten about ya. Hang in there, you are doing ok.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yup. I am doing ok.....actually last few days, I am feeling almost better than ok. (If only this sinus crap would go away, then I would upgrade it one more step!)
Yesterday, was the day I had slated for the discussion. I had let her know I wanted to talk to her about 2 weeks ago....I didnt want to leave that hang there. So I just came up with some stuff about our girl to talk about. The only thing that I threw at her that mildly peed her off a bit was about her paying her own auto ins. She started on a rant about all she was spending on our daughter, and having the new place is costing her a small fortune. Soooo... I said, " Hey I am not trying to start a fight here, i dont have a money tree in my backyard either.... but if it bothers you that much, I will suck it up for a bit yet"
Its not that much, if I get caught up in the "principal" of it, yeah I shouldnt pay it. She wants to be a big girl, she should pay her own bills. But then if I look at it another couple of ways.... she doesnt want to uncouple everything yet......hmmmmm Also, we are still married, not even legally seperated, if it did laspe, and she gets in an accident with no insurance...well I believe I would still be on the hook too. So for now, for goodwill, to keep the peace, or maybe I am just a sucker. I will pay it for a bit yet.
So tonight, she calls.....SHE CALLS ME... that is like only the 2nd time in like 5 months. Under the pretense of something about the childs lunch. We talked for like 10 minutes. I know to some of you, that dont sound like much.....but in my situation it at least seems huge. She also talked to the kid for like 15 minutes after me.
Ha ha funny thing I am really getting to a place where I know I will be ok, whichever way this works out. Honestly, it almost kinda of scares me that she may be turning around. I am really starting to get into my freedom, and fixing up this place the way I want it. She is coming to pick up our daughter here on Saturday, will be her first time since she has moved her stuff. She is gonna be suprised when she sees what I have done here!!!
So tonight, she calls.....SHE CALLS ME... that is like only the 2nd time in like 5 months. Under the pretense of something about the childs lunch. We talked for like 10 minutes. I know to some of you, that dont sound like much.....but in my situation it at least seems huge.
Just wanted to let you know that this made me smile. This is a big positive, based on how things have been lately. Hang in there.
Honestly, it almost kinda of scares me that she may be turning around.
I hear this one loud and clear NDDT. Just continue to do for you man, do not call her, email her or contact her in anyway...unless absolutely need to about your kid and even then...keep it brief. MOVE ON. You are in a tug of war match and you need to drop the rope buddy. That doesn't mean be a jerk. You continue to be the nice caring guy...but let her come to you to see it.
Hey G, I am really happy for you ... this might be a baby step. You tried to let go, just let things happen, and look, there are already positives. Note it down :), but keep the focus off her and on you.
Dropped my daughter off at school today. Guess who pops her head in on kids window? Yup she had to drop her nephew off at school this morning. Of course it was under the pretense of saying hi to the kid......
On one hand it seems as if she is coming around a bit, always about the daughter of course. But I will have to admit this morning it did tweak me a little bit...... Last night as I was trying to get the kid to bed they are on the phone for 20 minutes when I wanted to read her a bedtime story then off to bed. This morning wanted to say my goodbyes as I wont see daughter until either friday or saturday.......... The tweaking is, lately my time with daughter has been very limited because of work, and she is horning in on "my" time. I am not going to get all bent on this though.
Anyhow I got lots to do........so have a good day peoples!!
Ok...NDDT - "under the pretense"??? I'm sorry but don't you think that's a bit of an assumption? She is saying hi to her D...what makes you think that has anything to do with wanting to see you. One of the things that many of our S's will go through is a feeling of loss for the family unit. That may be why she is showing up and doing what she is doing. Be careful with this...it is a good thing...but don't take too much stake in it. She may be seeing some value...but in the end that is probably not enough to turn the tide. This may have NOTHING to do with you but everything to do with your kid and that family unit.
And don't you dare get pissy because she is on the phone with her for 20 minutes. That is a GOOD thing for your D...I don't care who's "time" it is.
This is a big positive, based on how things have been lately.
... this might be a baby step. You tried to let go, just let things happen, and look, there are already positives. Note it down :), but keep the focus off her and on you.